Length: 89 minutes
Rating: PG-13
Release Date: February 8, 2013
Director: Tibor Takacs
What can you say about a film that
deals with giant spiders attacking New York City? On paper, "Spiders"
sounds like the type of movie that I would love, but in reality, it
misses the mark.
Patrick Muldoon ("Starship
Troopers") stars as Jason, a man with a few issues. While
commuting home to work one day, the subway starts shaking as a space
station falls from the sky. Spiders begin attacking the city, leading
to people fleeing for their lives. Jason, unfortunately, can't do the
same thing. He discovers that his daughter is lost in the city, and
he and his wife decide to do whatever it takes to bring her home
safely.
Ugh. That's probably the word that best
describes "Spiders." As a fan of SyFy films and straight to
DVD releases, this one just made me cringe from the opening scenes to
the end credits. We're somehow supposed to believe that a girl, who
can clearly find her way around the city, doesn't have the common
sense to get the hell out of town when giant spiders attack.
At the same time, we get multiple shots
of military tanks and soldiers bringing down the spiders, people
leaving, and announcements that everyone must evacuate the town. We
even see the soldiers yelling at people to get the hell out. Yet,
Jason and his wife just casually stroll around town, sometimes
jumping behind dumpsters when they see people approaching. I just
kept watching the clock, hoping it would end soon.
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