Saturday, May 11, 2013

Spiders Movie Review – Beware of Big Bugs

Length: 89 minutes
Rating: PG-13
Release Date: February 8, 2013
Director: Tibor Takacs

What can you say about a film that deals with giant spiders attacking New York City? On paper, "Spiders" sounds like the type of movie that I would love, but in reality, it misses the mark.

Patrick Muldoon ("Starship Troopers") stars as Jason, a man with a few issues. While commuting home to work one day, the subway starts shaking as a space station falls from the sky. Spiders begin attacking the city, leading to people fleeing for their lives. Jason, unfortunately, can't do the same thing. He discovers that his daughter is lost in the city, and he and his wife decide to do whatever it takes to bring her home safely.

Ugh. That's probably the word that best describes "Spiders." As a fan of SyFy films and straight to DVD releases, this one just made me cringe from the opening scenes to the end credits. We're somehow supposed to believe that a girl, who can clearly find her way around the city, doesn't have the common sense to get the hell out of town when giant spiders attack.

At the same time, we get multiple shots of military tanks and soldiers bringing down the spiders, people leaving, and announcements that everyone must evacuate the town. We even see the soldiers yelling at people to get the hell out. Yet, Jason and his wife just casually stroll around town, sometimes jumping behind dumpsters when they see people approaching. I just kept watching the clock, hoping it would end soon.

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