Lake Placid vs. Anaconda – Can't Keep a Good Croc Down

Runtime: 92 minutes

Release Date: April 23, 2015

Rating: NR

Director: A.B. Stone

Jim (Robert Englund) takes a group of scientists into the wilds of New York to capture one of those infamous crocodiles. They want to breed the crocodile with an anaconda. While this usually takes lot of time and work, they take the easy way out and just inject blood from the crocodile into the pregnant snack, and blamo! It's all good. Except it's not all good at all. The crocodile wakes up from its sedative snack and goes ape shit, which ends with most running away and the RV they used exploding.

Reba (Yancy Butler from the last two Lake Placid movies) is now in charge of the police department in the same small town from one of the earlier films. The mayor or some guy like the mayor, hears word that the giant crocodiles might be back and orders her to take care of the problem without ever letting anyone know that there's giant man eating crocodiles nearby. She and her deputy Ferguson find evidence of crocodiles, which leads her to call on Fish & Wildlife for help.

Meanwhile, Bethany is a college student pledging a sorority and winds up near the lake with the other pledges and Tiffani, the president of the sorority. Tiffani is a mega bitch who makes them jump in and out of the lake on her command. Bethany also meets Margo, the stereotypical Converse wearing, black eyeliner, roll her eyes every 30 seconds college feminist. Turns out she's really only there to write a paper for her psychology class. Because freshmen go undercover and write detailed psychology papers? As a psychology BS holder, I say not.

Bethany winds up calling her dad to check in, who is conveniently Tull (Corin Nemec, who looks like he hasn't aged in 15 years), the head of Fish & Wildlife. Tull eventually meets up with Reba and starts investigating for signs of the crocodiles. When he learns that his daughter was on the water that day and finds signs that crocodiles really did attack the sorority girls, he tries to find a way to save his daughter while helping Reba too.

I still remember seeing the original Lake Placid in theaters and being shocked at little old Betty White. I also remember seeing the original Anacondas in theaters and being shocked at how awful Jennifer Lopez was. While I stuck with the Lake Placid series, I haven't seen a single of the Anacondas films until this one.

Is it wrong of me to say that this is the best one? In a week where I watched Lavalantulas, Sharknado 2, and Sharknado 3, Lake Placid vs. Anaconda actually came out on top. There's the joy of watching and waiting to see what happens to Englund, Reba constantly yelling at Ferguson who is great for comedic relief, and the creepy incestuous vibe between Tull and his daughter. Seriously, who calls their dad just to say I love you and tease him about what he does when you aren't there, and who calls his daughter baby when she's in college? It doesn't help that with Nemec never aging that they kind of do look like a couple.

Lake Placid vs. Anaconda is just fun. You have to laugh every time Ferguson does something stupid, and you have to root for Englund, who clearly had fun making the movie. While it might not be Oscar worthy, it's definitely fun!

Movie Review - Sharknado 2 : Yes, They Come Back

Runtime: 90 minutes
Release Date: July 30, 2014
Rating: NR
Director: Anthony C. Ferrante


Fin and April are back from the first movie and ready to tackle New York. Actually, April wrote a book called How to Survive a Sharknado, which shockingly my Spellchecker say is not a word, and she gets to shill it on Live with Kelly & Michael. Fin is clearly unhappy about things, pointing out that he did in fact lose several friends and apparently no longer cares about the other survivors from the first movie. Fin also isn't happy because he has to see his sister Ellen and her husband Martin. The two were once best friends, but I guess he didn't want his friend marrying his sister.


When Fin looks out the window, he sees a sharknado forming in the sky. In a nice twist to The Twilight Zone, we have to wonder if it's really there or all in his mind. Of course it's really there! The sharks attack, April gets attacked, a bunch of people die, and the plane makes an emergency landing. Emergency workers carry April off as she lost a hand in the battle, and Fin goes off on his own to save his family from the sharknado invading NYC.


I didn't necessarily like the first Sharknado movie, but I definitely didn't love it either. I think the roommates (of which I now have two) were probably a little surprised that I picked it out. I have to say though that I kind of loved it and I thought it was a lot better than the first. A bunch of reviews claimed it was a far cry from the first one, not as good, and something that even fans of the first wouldn't care for, so I must be in the minority.


Ian Ziering gave an interview where he talked about how they went overboard and just threw in as much as possible, and that's pretty clear within the first few minutes. The number of cameos in the movie is just insane! Here's a quick sample:


-Kelly Osbourne
-Andy Dick
-Tiffany Shepis
-Perez Hilton
-Billy Ray Cyrus
-Peppa
-Biz Markie
-Richard Kind
-Al Roker


There were a lot of times when those cameos pulled you out of things and made you remember that you were watching a bad horror movie. How can I possibly pay attention when I'm constantly looking to see who will be next and what I know him/her from? I'll also point out that I had a hard time believing that Vivica A. Fox and Ian Ziering could have been former crushes of each other until I found out that they are literally the same age. Eh, the roommate didn't even realize Vivica Fox was the same woman from Independence Day when he saw this one.


Can we also point out that the director could have replaced Tara Reid with a cardboard cutout or a wooden box and got the same results? I know that it's one of the things fans laughed about with the first one, but she was even more annoying her. She had so little emotion on her face that I was just praying for a shark to eat her head off. Sigh.


At least we did get Kari Wuhrer! As a long-time Sliders fan, and yes I even watched the "bad" seasons, I did a little happy dance when she popped up. Unfortunately, she doesn't get nearly as much screen time as the other characters. I also had to give it up for seeing Judah Friedlander. It was so weird seeing him without his glasses that it took me a few minutes to figure out who he was, but it did make me want to go back and watch Feast for the first time in years.


Sharknado 2 did have some fun moments, and it kept me and my roommates laughing and singing the theme song. What more could you ask for?

Movie Review: “Mothman”

Runtime: 91 minutes

Rating: TV-14

Release Date: October 25, 2011

Director: Sheldon Wilson

Seven friends harbor a dark secret: while in high school, they pulled a prank on a mutual friend that ended in his death. Katharine (Jewel Straite, “Firefly”) is a reporter from Washington who managed to put that night behind her. Katharine and her friends conveniently lived in the town of Point Pleasant where the Mothman once struck.

Her editor decides to do a major story on the annual Mothman festival, and since Katharine knows the area, her editor sends her to do the job. After meeting up with her old friends, the Mothman decides to come back for them. Though Katharine was the only one who left Point Pleasant, she is the only one who starts having visions of what the Mothman does. She and her old boyfriend have to team up with Frank Waverly, a blind man who wants to trick the Mothman into showing himself.

Oh. My. God. How the hell did I ever manage to sit through this one? Halfway through watching it, I suddenly realized that I saw this movie before, and I believe that I actually saw it when it originally aired on Syfy. Even then, I thought it was a steaming pile of crap. My father actually grew up not far from where the bridge collapsed so I grew up hearing the stories of the Mothman, and this movie definitely doesn't do it justice.

Then again, “The Mothman Prophecies” was also a horrid movie, so maybe the real Mothman has no interest in having his life story told. A friend, who has a crush on Straite, actually fell asleep halfway through the movie despite mentioning several times how “hot” she was, so I have to say that this really doesn't have anything going for it.