Firstborn Movie Review: Not That Exciting

Runtime: 86 minutes

Release Date: April 13, 2017

Rating: NR?

Director: Nirpal Bhogal

Charlie and James are a young couple in love and living together. Right before heading out for a night of partying, Charlie takes a pregnancy test and learns that she's pregnant. After hitting the pub, they head home and start getting intimate until she begins violently throwing up, which leads to her confessing that not only is she pregnant but that she doesn't want to have the baby. James sweet talks her about how great it would be to have a little “them,” and despite the fact that they clearly cannot take care of themselves, they decide to have the baby anyway.

The first sign we get that something is wrong is when James get upset in the hospital upon learning that Charlie asked his dad to come. He also meets a strange older woman in the hallway who seems to know a little too much about them. When they bring home their baby, Thea, things almost immediately go wrong. James's dad agrees to help them because, as it turns out, he's an expert in the occult. He hints that similar things happened when James was a baby and helps them rid their home of evil spirits. James makes it clear that he doesn't necessarily believe in the supernatural though. One thing made clear to them is that they cannot give Thea toys with faces, including dolls or stuffed animals, because that will invite the evil spirits back.

Things seemingly go pretty well for awhile. Thea does these random little prayer things, and her parents actually take good care of her. All that changes when Thea brings home a doll, which Charlie finds and throws away. Thea is so upset though that Charlie later brings home a different wall. That same night, cups shake in the kitchen, something grabs Charlie in her daughter's room, and James gets attacked. When they turn to James's father again, he recommends that they take Thea to a woman he knows, who is not only the only one who can help them but conveniently the same woman James spoke to in the hospital. Once they meet her though, it becomes clear that she has something else in mind.

Firstborn is definitely not one of the better horror flicks that I've seen lately. Neither Charlie nor James are particularly likable, even at the very beginning. They remind me of those white trash couples who can't be bothered to use condoms and then expect someone else to take care of their kids. While we later see that they're good parents, I can't get past how terrible they were early on.

One of the Firstborn reviews I read said that the film was uneven, which is something I definitely agree with after watching it. The beginning sets up the pregnancy, then we get to see all the strange stuff happening, but once James's dad leaves, the film takes too long to get us back to the weird stuff and spends a little too long introducing us to the now older Thea. The end of the film was a little dull too.

With the description of Firstborn, this should be the type of flick that makes you rethink wanting to have kids some day, but it would up just being another forgettable film.

Firstborn is currently streaming on Netflix.

The Dead Room Movie Review – Too Long and Yet Not Long

Runtime: 80 minutes

Release Date: April 8, 2016

Rating: NR?

Director: Jason Sutter

Similar to The Amityville Horror, The Dead Room deals with a haunted house that was so terrifying it forced a family to take up and leave in the middle of the night. In the hopes of finding out what actually happened, three investigators arrive and decide to spend a few days filming the house and looking for signs of ghosts.

Liam is the lead investigator and the one who most doubts the family's stories. After investigating dozens of other cases, he's heard it all and is incredibly cynical. Many of the things they said remind him of things he heard before. Scott is his right hand man and equally doubtful. He even reminds Liam of cases they worked on in the past that people faked. Also along for the ride is Holly who apparently really is psychic. She finds their stories sad and wonders if they ever found any real proof of the paranormal.

On their first day there, they find nothing in the way of evidence. Holly can't sense any presences in the home, nothing shows up on their cameras, and their other feeds detect nothing. Though they do catch some movement on one camera in the middle of the night, Scott convinces them that it was just the wind. They later capture a rocking chair moving on its own, and Holly sees a shadowy figure that no one else can see. In the hopes of finding more evidence, they decide to spend more time there, which causes the paranormal activity to worsen. As furniture flies through the air and the spirit chases them through the house, they must decide if capturing evidence is as important as their own lives.

The Dead Room had a few things going for it, but most notably, the characters. Liam is the type of character who we need more of in horror films. There are so many movies like this that feature characters dead set on the idea that ghosts exist and willing to go overboard to prove it. Liam is much more mellow and pretty much a skeptic. Even when faced with real evidence, he's willing to find other explanations for what he saw. Holly was fairly interesting too, especially when she actually began detecting the presence, and Scott at least kept things entertaining.

If you think I liked the film because I liked the characters, think again. I put it on Netflix the other day to have something to watch while waiting for a food delivery and kept thinking about fast forwarding. It's a slow movie, and not the type of slow burn that I usually like. So much doesn't happening in the first half that you start wondering if there's an actual ghost or if this is one of those movies that ends with someone living in the basement. It was just too slow for me.

The end to The Dead Room was really good and had a nice twist. I just wish that some of those action sequences occurred early on. By the time we learn what's really going on, I was ready to turn it off. The Dead Room just didn't do it for me.

Movie Review: Lights Out – Keep the Lights On

Runtime: 81 minutes

Release Date: July 22, 2016

Rating: PG-13

Director: David F. Sandberg

While it isn't really terrifying, I highly recommend watching this one with all the lights out if possible.

A woman working in a mannequin warehouse sees what looks like the shadow of a woman standing in the back room. When she turns the lights off, the woman disappears. She warns her boss, Paul, before leaving for the night. Though Paul doesn't believe her, he sees the woman for himself. She gets closer and closer as the lights go out. Despite trying to make it back to his lit office, the shadowy figure kills him.

We then meet Rebecca and her friends with benefits Bret. Though Bret clearly wants more, she keeps blowing him off because she doesn't believe in forming attachments to other people. We learn why when she gets a call that her half-brother Martin keeps falling asleep in school. It turns out that their mother Sophie suffers from mental illness. When she's on her meds, she's fine, but Rebecca learns that her mom stopped taking her meds and keeps talking about her friend Diana. Every time she stops her meds, she sees Diana. We also find out that Paul was Martin's father and Diana's second husband. Rebecca's father took off when she was a kid and never came back.

After stopping by the house and finding light bulbs missing and lights turned off, Rebecca decides to take her brother home with her. Despite him finally getting a solid night's sleep, a social worker comes to see her and claims that her mother wants him back and that she' fine. Rebecca begins remembering when she saw Diana herself as a child and wonders if the woman really does exist. With the help of Bret, she goes through her stepfather's things to find proof of who Diana was and to uncover a mystery to help both her mother and her brother.

Lights Out really was a pretty good flick. I saw it at the drive-in with both my boyfriend and my roommate, both of whom like horror movies. All three of us had moments where we started laughing nervously and tried to hold a conversation because it meant looking away from the screen. The roommate even took out his phone to suddenly look up something he had to know right then instead of watching it. The people in the next car over actually screamed a few times too.

Let's get it out of the way: Diana is fucking terrifying. She's this shadowy creature that seemingly stands feet above everyone else at times, had long dark hair that hides her face, and can move as quick as a bunny in the dark. Whether it was her running across the floor on her hands and knees or slowly creeping up in the background behind someone, I was about to jump out of my seat.

While the ending is a little cheesy and the explanation of who she is came out of nowhere, I really liked Lights Out because it actually made me a little scared to turn off the lights after watching it.

The Darkness Movie Review – No Bruce, No!

Runtime: 92 minutes

Release Date: May 13, 2016

Rating: PG-13

Director: Greg McLean

I had the chance to see this movie at the drive in earlier this year but was feeling sick and skipped it. I'm kind of glad I only paid a few bucks to rent it.

The Darkenss takes a family of four to the Grand Canyon. There's workaholic Peter, his recovering alcoholic wife Bronny, their typical teenage daughter, and their autistic son Mikey. As they have fun with their friends, the friends' teenage son takes the other two on a hike. Left alone, Mikey stumbles, falls through a hole in the ground, and lands in an underground cavern. He finds weird black rocks that have white symbols across the front and decides to take them home without telling anyone.

This naturally sets off a massive shit storm. Bronny gets irritated at Mikey for constantly leaving the kitchen faucet on, but he tells her that it was his new friend Jenny. He also makes comments about the people on the ceiling. Stephanie, the daughter, sees dark handprints on her bedroom walls, which she assumes is her brother being a pest. Bronny experiences some strange things of her own, including finding her son in the attic and him claiming that Jenny showed him a short cut. They also discover small fires around the house that they believe Mikey set.

As the ghostly activity amps up, everyone starts acting differently. Bronny finds that Stephanie started throwing up everything she ate and keeps jugs of her vomit under the bed. We learn that Peter had an affair, which makes his interactions with the new hot girl at the office a little disturbing. Bronny finally breaks down and has a drink, which leads to her full on falling off the wagon. After talking about their problems with Peter's boss, Peter finally snaps and reveals that he knew she started drinking again and that he just wants her to shut up. With the help of the boss's wife though, they may finally find a solution to their ghostly problems.

The cast of The Darkness is really the best part about the film. Not only do we get Kevin Bacon as Peter and Radha Mitchell as Bronny, but we also get the hillarious Matt Walsh and gorgeous Jennifer Morrison as their best friends at the beginning. Who doesn't love seeing Morrison and Bacon together again after Stir of Echoes? Paul Reiser and Ming-na then turn up as Peter's boss and the boss's wife.

Sadly, the rest of the movie is just eh. The only scene that really got me came when Stephanie was in the kitchen late at night and thought she head something. You expect to see something pop up behind her when she closes the refrigerator door, but it's actually just a flash of something in the microwave as she walks through the room. That scene was done so well that I wonder why the rest was so bad.

And, don't get me started on the ending! It was like someone watched Poltergeist, started writing a movie, and then gave up at the end. It's literally a healing that causes Mikey to go through a ghostly portal as his dad does everything to save him. The very-very end was even worse and felt like some random TV movie ending.

Though The Darkness wasn't the worst film, it felt like a retread of a movie I've seen many, many, many times before.

Movie Review: The Conjuring 2 – Oh God, Not Another One

Runtime: 134 minutes

Release Date: June 10, 2016

Rating: R

Director: James Wan

Nothing will make me believe a “true story” less than a film that starts out with an investigation of the Amityville case. The Conjuring 2 takes us to New York as Ed and Lorraine investigate the “haunted” house. They then do a television interview that causes Ed to lash out at man who doesn't believe in him or his wife. When the man makes a comment about how Lorraine never met a house that wasn't haunted, I laughed my ass off. Ed recently started having visions of a demon, and when Lorraine reveals that she “saw” the same creature kill him, they agree to take a break from ghost hunting.

Too bad that there is another case about to bring them back to the fold. Over in England, a young girl named Janet gets in trouble for smoking on school grounds. Even though she was just holding her friend's cigarette, her mom doesn't want to hear it. Peggy is a single mother of four kids living in a council house and just trying to hold things together since her husband knocked up a woman around the corner and took off. Janet brings home a spirit board that she made with her friend, which seemingly sets off something sinister in the house.

Janet “levitates” in the air at several points. They hear knocking inside the walls, and furniture moves on its own. Janet then begins speaking in a demonic voice. A police officer even sees the furniture move. The family moves in with a friend and calls the church for help. The church then invites the Warrens to spend a weekend in England. Based on what they find, the church will decide what to do next.

Though the Warrens enter with no idea of what to expect, they quickly find that there is something sinister happening in the house. Of course. Despite evidence that Janet and her sister faked a good portion of the poltergeist activity, Ed becomes convinced that he must save the poor family. Lorraine has to keep a watchful eye on him and hope the demon doesn't return.

I have absolutely no belief whatsoever in anything the Warrens ever did. Hearing all the evidence about the Amityville case, it really pisses me off that she still swears it all happened. She's even given interviews and talked about things that others proved didn't happen but still says it did. Reading up on the case about the “true” story in this movie only pissed me off more. Those kids admitted that they made stuff up, people caught them faking stuff on camera, and don't even get me started on the bull shit “levitation” thing. Other also spoke out and claimed that the two only spent a single day in England, but the film version has us believing that Ed swept in like an action hero and saved them all. Gag me.

Despite really not liking The Conjuring, I disliked The Conjuring 2 even more. There was maybe one scene in the film that had me freaking out, which was when the demon nun came at Lorraine through a picture frame. Everything else had the sense of something I saw before. As much as I like James Wan, I wish he would just abandon this franchise and move on.

Movie Review: Flight 7500 – Thanks XBOX!

Runtime: 97 minutes

Release Date: April 12, 2016

Rating: PG-13

Director: Takashi Shimizu

Every so often, I use my XBOX One as a way to check out upcoming horror flicks. I go through, check out the horror section, watch some trailers, and add some films to the internal list in my brain. Flight 7500 was a flick listed on there that I had a heck of a time finding. It turns out that it was filmed in 2011 and set for release the following year, then pulled from the schedule and held back until earlier this year. Though I did locate a copy at Family Video, I probably could have just skilled it.

Flight 7500 tells the story of a “doomed” flight. Our cast of characters includes Brad an Pia, a couple heading off on vacation with their close friends despite having broken up. They decide to just not tell anyone until after they come back. We also meet a weird guy who keeps a tight handle on a random wooden box, a thief, and a stereotypical goth chick. Suzy and Laura are the two flight attendants, and Laura is the midst of a not so secret affair with Pete, the captain on the flight who is also married.

After flying for a few hours, the plan hits a patch of turbulence that freaks everyone out for a few minutes before it passes. They then find that the man traveling with the box suddenly starts bleeding before dying. The captain makes the decision to quarantine his body in the first class section and move all the other passengers until they can get to their destination. A bunch of random stuff happens, including the air masks dropping and water bottles collapsing, and one woman even sees a fighter jet next to the plane that the captain and others can't see. As people begin disappearing, the others must figure out what happened to the plane and what connection the mysterious wood box has to their flight.

Look, I love films that take place on planes. I'm still a big fan of Snakes on a Plane despite it being so awful, and I have a fondness in my heart for Outbreak on a Plane, which I should totally review in the future. Flight 7500 though was just kind of middle of the road for me. It had a few interesting moments, but much of it just felt like a filler.

One problem is that they spend way too much time setting up all the other characters. Instead of having a scene between the flight attendant and the captain, we have to hear them talk about the two having a relationship and then have a scene or two between them. It serves no purpose in the film except to have her break up with him later. It's a filler story that has no place in the movie. We also have to hear Brad and Pia talk about why they decided to divorce and deal with multiple scenes between the two of them just so they can reconcile at the end.

I figured out what happened pretty early on but kept hoping it was something different. Did the wood box contain a virus that would kill everyone? Was it all just a dream caused by a cabin pressure change? Nah, it's exactly what you think happened judging by a few scenes that occur within the first few minutes. I was hoping for more, but Flight 7500 gave me less than I expected.

The Forest – Seriously, Do Not Go in the Woods!

Runtime: 93 minutes

Release Date: January 8, 2016

Rating: PG-13

Director: Jason Zada

Sara lives in America with her fiance and worries about her twin sister Jess. Jess moved to Japan to work as a teacher but recently stopped answering her phone. When Sara gets a call from the police that they believe her sister killed herself, she decides to fly to Japan herself to investigate. It turns out that the last time anyone saw Jess, the woman was going to the suicide forest by herself.

Though she refuses to believe her sister committed suicide, she learns that her sister supervised a field trip the forest in the past. She also finds some prescription anxiety medication that her sister left behind. While having a drink at a bar, she meets an Australian reporter who speaks Japanese. Aiden agrees to help her find a guide who will take her into the forest to search for her sister.

Michi, the guide, gives her information about the forest. They actually encounter a man sitting outside of a tent, which is a sign that the man isn't sure he wants to kill himself. Apparently, people will sometimes take tents with them and spend hours or days deciding what to do. He also shows them how people will leave behind trails to help others find their bodies. Though they find Jess's tent, Michi recommends they leave and come back the next day. When Sara refuses and plans to stay the night, Aiden agrees to stay with her while Michi promises to come back for them the next morning.

Almost as soon as the sun sets, Sara starts seeing and hearing things. She keeps thinking she hears her sister's voice and even sees her twin, but then she discovers the ghost of a suicide victim in the woods. The more the night drags on, the more she begins suspecting that Aiden had something to do with her sister's disappearance. Sara then starts having flashbacks to the death of her parents and wonders if she'll ever find her twin or even get out of the forest alive.

The Forest is a damn good horror flick. Natalie Dormer carries the film as both Jess and Sara and does a super job of differentiating between the two characters. Taylor Kinney is equally great as Aiden because he plays the role of ambiguously. He does a superb job of leaving you wondering if he really had something to do with what happened to Jess or if he's just an innocent victim.

I also want to give it up for the director. The Forest is one of those flicks that has a ton of twists and turns. Almost from the moment Sara enters the woods, you have no idea what she actually sees and what is a hallucination brought on by the forest itself. While the ending wasn't that great and had a twist that wasn't really a twist – if you pay even the slightest attention to the beginning, you'll see it coming – I have to recommend it. Ignore all the negative reviews posted online. The Forest has lots of twists, some great acting, and scenes that will stick with you.

The Babadook – Beware of Random Books That Show Up in Your Home

Runtime: 93 minutes

Release Date: November 28, 2014

Rating: NR

Director: Jennifer Kent

Amelia is a single mother with a troubled back story and an even more troubled son. On the day that she went into labor with her son, her husband was killed in an accident while rushing her to the hospital. Sam, her son, suddenly starts acting out and behaving in unusual ways. He has a hard time sleeping through the night, keeps talking about seeing monsters, and generally acts like a tool. It gets so bad that her own sister refuses to come around. Her sister claims that she can't control her son and that she never really got over the death of her husband.

Things come to a head when she takes her son to her niece's birthday party. When her niece taunts Sam about not having a dad and how she doesn't want him there, he retaliates by pushing her out of her tree house. After truly finding herself alone after the incident, Amelia finds a book that she never saw before, which is the story of the Babadook. Sam seems to enjoy the story, but she finds it so dark and disturbing that she throws it away.

Sam keeps acting out only now he keeps saying that he sees the Babadook in their house. Amelia takes him to a doctor, but when the doctor finds nothing wrong with him, she begs the doctor to prescribe him sedatives. Sam also gets thrown out of school, and she winds up stuck at home caring for him and calling off work. Things keep heating up the point where she begins wondering if she's possessed by the spirit because she can't control her own actions. Unless Amelia can figure out what's happening and how to stop it, she may lose both her son and her own life.

As a frequent Reddit user, I can't count the number of people who recommended The Babadook over the last year or so. It sat in my Netflix queue for so long that it became one of those movies I thought I would never get around to watching it. After starting and stopping it at least twice, I finally managed to get through the whole movie but I'm not sure how.

First off, let me say that I get why people would like The Babadook. It's got a few unsettling moments, there are some jump scares that almost come out of nowhere, and that book is hella creepy. That said, I didn't like it. The problem is with the character of Sam. It's one thing to make a child character who comes across as realistic, but it's another thing to make a young character is so annoying that you feel no empathy at all for him. There are multiple scenes early in the film that feature him shrieking and screaming in this high pitch shrill that hurt my ears so much that I wound up fast forwarding through multiple scenes. Since those moments served as the main introduction to the character, those scenes made me dislike him with a strong passion, which I never got over.

The Babadook could have been a good movie, but I just can't get over the way Sam acted earlier in the movie. He was just a little too realistic for me, though I will say that I'd love to get my hands on a copy of the book from the movie.

The Boy – If You're Nice to Him, He'll be Nice to You

Runtime: 97 minutes

Release Date: January 22, 2016

Rating: PG-13

Director: William Brent Bell

Greta (Lauren Cohan, The Walking Dead) travels from Montana to England to accept a nanny job and to escape an abusive former relationship. Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire are a little too old to have a young child, but their need for a nanny makes more sense when they introduce her to their “son” Brahms. Brahms is actually a life size porcelain doll that they treat like a real boy. His mother explains to her that they tried hard to find a suitable nanny in the past but that Brahms turned down all their previous choices. After a hushed conversation with the boy behind closed doors, they announce that he accepted her.

The next morning, the couple provide Greta with a detailed list of instructions that she must follow before departing. The list includes things like waking him up every morning at seven and kissing him goodnight each night after putting him to bed. Though she's all alone in the house, she does meet Malcolm, the man responsible for delivering groceries and her paycheck every week. Malcolm confides in her that the real Brahms died in a tragic fire 20 years ago and that the parents have had the doll ever since. He later confesses that a little girl went missing from the house after a birthday party, her body was later found, and when the cops came to the house, they found the house on fire.

As most people would, Greta doesn't believe that Brahms is real and ignores all the instructions on the list. After a nightmare in which the doll comes to life, she starts feeling unsettled in the house. That feeling grows even worse when she keeps finding things missing or things rearranged and gets locked in the home's attic. Once Greta finally begins believing that Brahms is real, she must convince Malcolm of the truth and figure out what to do when her abusive ex shows up on her doorstep.

The Boy is a film that I saw a trailer for a few months ago on some random website and instantly knew that I wanted to see it. The trailer was so dark and creepy that I made both my roommate and the boyfriend watch it too. Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of the best scenes in the movie were in the trailer.

I kept waiting for a big jump scene that never came, and it didn't have that creepy and unsettling feel that I thought it would. There are multiple scenes of the Brahms doll just sitting where the camera stayed so long on the doll that you expected something to happen only for the camera to finally pan away without a single thing happening.

The sad thing is that right as the film got going, it was almost the end. If you think this is just the classic story of a ghost haunting a doll, think again, and if you go into the movie with that expectation, you likely won't see the ending coming. Cohan is a pretty good actress on television in both The Walking Dead and Supernatural, but there was something about her character in The Boy that I didn't really like.

It didn't help that we had a bunch of extra info thrown at us, including how her abusive ex caused her to miscarry their ex and how Brahms likely had a connection to a young girl's death. While we did get resolution with the ex, we never really learn if Brahms killed the little girl or not. Though I liked the ending of The Boy, it felt like a miss to me.

Out of the Dark Movie Review – Surprisingly Poor

Runtime: 92 minutes

Release Date: April 10, 2015

Rating: R

Director: Lluis Quilez

Out of the Dark opens in the early 1990s. An older doctor gathers a group files and tries to set the papers on fire before hearing a series of noises that sends him running in terror. What looks like a group of children then come out of the darkness and chase him until he falls off a balcony to his death.

The film then jumps to Sarah and Paul in the present day. Sarah's father owns a large paper mill in the same town where the doctor once lived and offers her a high paying job. Though the two have a young daughter, Hannah, they think that the move will do them good. They continue thinking that, even after learning that they will be living in a large house far from the city. The two live here in the care of a sitter to explore the town and its annual festival.

When they return, they discover that some weird things happened that night. The sitter tells them that she thinks their house is haunted, which causes Paul to fire her. Hannah becomes incredibly sick and only gets worse. The mill doctor, the son of the doctor from the beginning, promises to help them. Though he does tests and draws blood, he claims that everything came back normal and that it's just a virus.

As Sarah becomes caught up in her work, she learns that several young children went missing two decades ago. Hannah becomes so sick that they finally decide to take her back home for help. Before that can happen though, a group of strange looking children with bandages on them lure Hannah outside and then disappear with her. Sarah then discovers that some of the kids who went missing had the same symptoms as Hannah and realizes that what happened in the past has a deep connection to the present day.

Let's get this out of the way. The main reason I watched Out of the Dark was for pure nostalgia. Julia Stiles of 10 Things I Hate About You and Save the Last Dance plays Sarah, and Scott Speedman of Felicity fame is Paul. Put either of them in anything, and I'll probably watch it. Sadly for me, that means I was stuck watching this.

The thing about Out of the Dark is that it doesn't really bring anything new to the table. I can't count the number of movies I've seen about parents moving to the country and something weird happens to their child. I kept waiting for something that would make me scared, make me worried, or at least make me care. I just didn't find anything I really cared about in this one.

Paul and Sarah have so little chemistry that it makes you wonder why they got married or had a child and why the hell he agreed to follow her to the middle of nowhere. They don't seem to care all that much about the fact that their daughter will grow up in some foreign country with no friends nearby and no knowledge of the language either. It ended up feeling like they didn't care, so why should we care either.

Even though I watched this one for free on Netflix, I wouldn't recommend it.

The Veil – A Fictionalized and Disturbing Cult Tale

Length: 93 minutes

Release Date: January 19, 2016

Rating: R

Director: Phil Joanou

Heaven's Veil was a religious cult along the lines of the People's Temple. Their leader – Jim Jacobs – convinced them all to kill themselves because the end of the world was coming. The only survivor was a young girl named Sarah. Maggie and her brother Christian are the children of the FBI agent who investigated the event and they have evidence that was never made public. They convince Sarah to go back to the cult grounds to film a documentary about what really happened there.

Things go about as well as you might expect. Sarah is so overwhelmed with being back there that she passes out a few times, which is odd since she keeps saying that she doesn't have any real memories. They camp outside in tents, but on the first night, one of the crew members goes missing. They later find a tape made by a former member of the cult where she mentions Sarah and talks about how she has no control over herself. Turns out the woman is actually Sarah's mother and that she was the only member never found, though they do eventually find her body.

After wandering around and investigating the property, they find a hidden room and a series of tapes Jim made. Sarah has some memories of the room though she can't recall exactly what they did there. The tapes show Jim talking about how he uncovered the secret to everlasting life. He claimed to find a drug that would make the spirit leave the body and then return, which he demonstrated on tape. As more unusual things happen, the group wonders if the property is haunted or if, perhaps, there is more to the story than they ever expected.

You can't talk about The Veil without singling out Lily Rabe. Best know now for her performances on American Horror Story, she does an excellent job of playing Sarah. You never know quite what's going on in her mind, whether she remembers everything that happened there, or if she really is just a confused woman with a horrible tragedy.

As great at Rabe was in the movie, I think Thomas Jane did an even better job. Jim Jones was so charismatic that watching footage today makes you get why so many people agreed to follow him. It's like someone gave Jane a script and told him to play Jones even more over the top. He does such a great job of channeling that man that it took me 30 minutes to realize it was him. He's done a lot of bad movies lately, but he's really at his best here. Some might say that he is too over the top, but I think he did a great job.

The ending of The Veil was a little cheesy, but given the rest of the movie, I think it worked. Looking back on it now, I'm not sure there was a better way to end it. While it isn't the strongest horror movie out there, it just might make you wonder what else Jim Jones had up his sleeve...

The Veil is currently streaming on Netflix.

Dream House – As Bad As I Remembered

Length: 92 minutes

Release Date: September 30, 2011

Rating: PG-13

Director: Jim Sheridan

Will and Libby decide to buy a house in the country and move with their two girls to get away from life in the big city. Though things initially go well, as they always do in these kinds of films, it doesn't take long before weird things begin happening. His daughters hear a story that someone was killed in their home, and it's coming up on the anniversary of that tragedy too. It doesn't help that people in town all keep acting a little funny around him, especially his divorced neighbor Ann.

Will eventually learns that a man named Peter Ward once lived in their home. After a fight with his wife, he shot their children. His wife managed to shoot him before dying of her own gunshot wound. This leads Will on a chase where he discovers that Peter was never charged because he had no memories of the night but was committed to a psychiatric ward. The closer he gets to uncovering the mystery of what happened that night and what's going on in his home, the more he learns that some things should remain hidden.

I originally saw Dream House when it first landed on DVD and wasn't a big fan. While going through my Netflix list the other night, I noticed that I added it and decided to just give it another try. I'm not above watching a horror film more than once, especially if I didn't like it the first time. That's part of why I became a fan of Insidious long after everyone else decided they hated it again. Sadly, Dream House is just as bad the second time around.

Dream House plays like one of those classic Victorian horror movies. You half expect to see it take place in some gorgeous mansion with the kids wearing long dresses and fog rolling across the moors. It moves the setting to a typical suburb, which seems like an attempt to make you realize that this kind of thing could happen anywhere. All it does is make me wonder why it took so long for people to actually notice Will was there.

If you never watched Dream House before or can't figure out the “spoiler” based on my short plot description, then feel free to skip this review. It turns out that Will is actually Peter, which he only learns after visiting the head doctor at the institute. The doctor reveals that he spent the last five years in treatment, can't remember what happened that night, and created an alternate personality to deal with his “guilt” and/or grief. He then walks away from a halfway house where he was staying, went back to his former home, and started thinking the ghosts of his wife and kids were real.

Here's the thing though, if you thought your neighbor murdered his whole family and then saw him coming in and out of the house all the time, wouldn't you do something about it? Ann's excuse is that they knew each other for a long time and just wanted to be his friend. It later turns out the house was condemned and he gets tossed out again. There's also a whole subplot about Ann's ex-husband and how he hired someone to kill her but the man screwed up and murdered the wrong family, so it turns out that Will/Peter was innocent all along. By the time it gets to its final unrealistic scene of him having wrote a best selling book about his experiences in the house, I just didn't care anymore. Dream House is far from a dream horror movie.

Secrets in the Walls – OK, I Totally Lied About Lifetime Movies

Runtime: 89 minutes

Release Date: October 24, 2010

Rating: NR

Director: Christopher Leitch

Rachel is a single mother living in Detroit and trying to raise her daughters in a tiny apartment. After getting a good paying new job, she gets lost on her way home and wanders across a real estate agent with a home for sale. The agent tells her that the owner lives in another state, inherited the property, and just wants it sold. While she can't afford the price, she gets a second chance when the price significantly drops and immediately moves in with her kids.

Lizzie, the teenager and older of the two, instantly decides that she wants the large basement room to herself. Molly, her younger daughter, has a sixth sense about things and doesn't really like the house at all. Marty, Rachel's brother, thinks there is something wrong with the basement. As a contractor, he can't figure out why someone would put up a new wall that significantly reduces the square footage of the room. He also offers to stick around and help them get the house cleaned up and pretty.

As you can clearly tell by the title, Secrets in the Walls is about some type of secret hidden in the walls. Weird things start happening, like they head odd noises and find things moved. Molly insists that there is something wrong with the house but no one will listen. Rachel finally does some research into the house and learns that a young woman went missing years ago. He husband was somewhat abuse, but no one batted an eye when his 17 year old wife disappeared one night. When the ghost haunting her home decides to take things a step further, Rachel has to turn to a coworker for help.

Secrets in the Walls is an unbelievably cheesy movie that actually starts out pretty good and then takes a turn somewhere towards the middle. The first half was actually interesting enough to keep my attention, but then the director decided to shoehorn some other plot that made it completely unrealistic. If you don't want to read any spoilers, skip to the end.

With a name like Secrets in the Walls, you know what's coming. Rachel and Marty break through the new wall in the basement and find the missing girl was basically bricked up inside while still alive. The cops show up, take a report, move the body, and basically do little else. She thinks the story is over, but then we have like 30 minutes of the girl's ghost taking over Lizzie, which no one notices for way too long. I'd rather have a straight up ghost story that ends with the ghost leaving when they find her body and give her a proper burial.

We also get Belle shoved down our throats. Belle is a nurse who is psychic too and uses her “gift” while on the job. She shows up multiple times to talk about how Molly has the gift and what's probably happening in the house without actually doing anything. Belle literally tells her to find the body and then everything will go away, which doesn't happen.

I do have to give props for Rachel screaming at the real estate agent and warning the new owners that the house was haunted. If Secrets in the Walls ended a little sooner, I would have liked it a little better.

Stir of Echoes – Be Very Afraid of Hypnotists

Runtime: 99 minutes

Release Date: September 10, 1999

Rating: R

Director: David Koepp

Tom is a working class guy living in a rental home with his son and wife, Maggie. His sister-in-law Lisa is constantly talking down to him and acting like he's a terrible guy, which just gets worse when Maggie announces that she's pregnant. At a party, Lisa decides to hypnotize him. When he comes out of it, the guests all have a good laugh at his expense but his life is changed forever.

After that night, he finds himself seeing things that aren't there. He even has a vision of his neighbor's son killing his whole family and then killing himself. Many of his visions involve a young woman with glasses. After asking around, he learns that she was a mentally challenged girl who lived in the neighborhood and went missing one night. Jake, his son, also sees the same girl and says her name is Sam.

One night, Tom and Maggie go to a football game with their friends and hire a new babysitter. They never used Debbie before, but Jake suggested her after talking to Samantha. Tom starts seeing strange things that night and quickly runs back home to find Jake gone. They learn that Debbie is actually Samantha's sister and after hearing that Jake talks to Sam and saw her in the house, she raced him to her mother. Tom quickly finds himself caught up in the mystery of what happened to Samantha and whether his neighbors and friends had anything to do with her disappearance.

When I was in college, my best friend/roommate and I were far from partiers. We would rather spend the night playing board games, watching Buffy, or hanging out in our room than hitting up a kegger. That led to use watching a lot of movies and going to the movie theater a lot. We probably saw Stir of Echoes six times in the theater, making it second only to Final Destination in terms of the films we saw in the theater. When Netflix recently added it, I was worried that I wouldn't like it as much as I did before. Thankfully my worries were wrong.

Stir of Echoes reminds us of the talents of some actors we forgot about in the past. I can't remember that last time Kevin Bacon starred in a hit film, but he does a really great job here. You really do believe that he's a man slowly losing his mind and you believe that he really does care about the fate of poor Samantha. Zachary David Cope also does a great job as Jake, which makes me wonder why he stopped acting. Credit also has to go to Kathryn Erbe – who many know from Law & Order: Criminal Intent – as Maggie and Illeana Douglas as Lisa. I'm pretty sure she hasn't been in anything I didn't like.

One minor issue is that the director starts throwing too many hints at us towards the end, which makes it easy to figure out what really did happen. I'm also not a big fan of the actual ending, mainly because I think seeing a dead girl wander off with a smile on her face is pure cheese. It does have some great jump scenes that I completely forgot about, and those scenes actually did have me jumping out of my seat.

Stir of Echoes is probably just as good if not better than you remember, and you'll definitely like it poor than the weak sequel that followed.

Echoes Movie Review – Sleep Paralysis is a Bitch

Runtime: 93 minutes

Release Date: July 17, 2015

Rating: ?

Director: Nils Timm

Anna is a young woman and a writer who deals with serious bouts of sleep paralysis. The nightmares are so vivid and realistic that she has a hard time telling the difference between what happens in her dreams and what happens in real life. Her boyfriend, Paul, convinces her that she needs some time away from it all and takes her to a gorgeous home in the dessert.

After experiencing a few peaceful nights there, she decides to stay when he goes back to the city. Anna realizes that this was a mistake after her nightmares come back. After meeting Jeremy, a guy who lives in a trailer on the property, she begins feeling uncomfortable in her new home. To make matters worse, she begins having visions of a woman named Vera and sees the woman in her dreams.

She takes a trip into town and learns that Vera was the original architect of the house. She later became blind and went for a walk away from the house, only to completely disappear without a trace. One morning, she wakes to find strange writing all over the windows of the house on the outside, including a specific date, which she discovers was the date Vera went missing. Anna must find out what connection she has to the house, why Vera keeps coming to her, and what is real and what is part of her dreams.

When we finished watching Echoes, my boyfriend looked at me and said, “that was better than a lot of the stuff you make me watch,” which is high praise from him! Echoes is actually one of the better films that I watched over the last few months. While it had a twist towards the end that most people did or should see coming, the rest of the film makes up for it.

Kate French does a really good job as Anna. Given that I've never seen her in anything before, I thought she added something special to the role and to the film. Anna walks the line between being simple and complex. You never know what she's thinking or what she might do. She does a great job of showing the fear Anna has after another night of nightmares and the worry she has as she slowly wonders if she's losing her mind.

Steven Brand was also pretty good as her boyfriend Paul. Though Paul is initially just a throwaway character, he later becomes a bigger part of the story. While you can figure out the connection he had to Vera, I still liked him in the movie.

The only fault I had with Echoes was the ending, which throws away the whole sleep paralysis story in favor of a classic ghost tale. I can overlook that though because the rest of the movie was so damn good. Most of the movie takes place in a gorgeous mid-century modern style home with large windows on every wall. You never know what you might see happening outside those windows or even what you might see on the windows when Anna wakes up in the morning.

Echoes was a dark movie with an average ending and enough chills to make me call it one of the best I've seen lately.

The Gallows Movie Review – A Little Disappointing

Runtime: 81 minutes

Release Date: July 10, 2015

Rating: R

Director: Travis Cluff & Chris Lofing

In 1993, the students of Beatrice High School presented a play called The Gallows. When the film of the same name opens, we see a crucial moment in the play where one young man gets hanged. Something goes wrong, and he actually hangs and dies for real.

Twenty years after the events of that night, the same high school decides to stage the production once again. Only this time, popular guy Reese is one of the main actors. Reese is a pretty boy and a jock, which leads to his friends picking on him and teasing him for hanging out with the unpopular kids. One of those boys, Ryan, convinces him that they should sneak into the school and vandalize the set.

When they visit the school later that night, they bring along Ryan's equally popular girlfriend Cassie. They then run into Pfeifer, one of the actresses in the play and a girl who Reese actually likes. Though they initially have fun together. Pfeifer gets upset when she finds out why they actually came to the school. After calming down, the group discovers that they are trapped inside the school, that their phones don't work, and that there is someone with them who is unhappy with their presence.

The first time I saw a trailer for The Gallows, I though it looked like a great movie. I can't say the same thing after actually watching the movie. It has a lack of scary moments and comes across as just another horror film meant to capitalize on teens who will watch anything. It's probably the most disappointing movie that I watched this Halloween season, mainly because I really wanted to see it and thought it looked so great.

Probably the best scene in the movie is the same one that was in the trailer. It involves Cassidy sitting alone in a dark hallway crying and freaking out. As she keeps looking down and staring at the floor, she doesn't see the man approaching her from the back with a noose in his hand. Even though I saw it a few dozen times when it appeared in the trailer, it actually did have a creepy feel that I liked.

The rest of the movie was just kind of meh. What else can you say about a movie that features all the same teen stereotype characters? We have the jock who likes a girl from the less popular side of the school, a jock rich kid, his cheerleader girlfriend, and of course the drama girl who has a secret. The best thing about those characters is that we can at least look forward to seeing a few of them die.

The end of The Gallows was something I found confusing. Stop reading for spoilers. It turns out that Pfeifer is actually the daughter of Charlie and his high school girlfriend. The cops go to her house and find her with her mom before Charlie attacks. Was Charlie really did or did he fake his death? While it seems like he did, the guy in the later years is clearly larger and taller than the high school boy. I'm not sure what we're supposed to believe. All I know is that The Gallows was extremely disappointing.

Poltergeist (2015) – The Remake We Didn't Need

Runtime: 93 minutes

Release Date: May 22, 2015

Rating: PG-13

Director: Gil Kenan

Eric and Amy are a married couple looking for a new house because Eric recently lost his job and they need to downsize. After finding a home in a new development, they move in their teenage daughter Kendra, younger son Griffin, and youngest daughter Madison. Though things seem fine at first, it doesn't take too long before odd things occur. Most of it seems directed at Griffin, including some odd clown dolls he finds hidden in his room.

Things come to a head when the couple decide to leave Kendra in charge of the kids for the night. Something unseen lures her into the garage, a tree outside comes to life and pulls Griffin out of the house, and poor Madison finds her new friends pulling her into the television. Though the parents at first try to find other excuses for what happened, they eventually turn to a doctor from the local college, her former partner, and her team to help them stop the poltergeist activity and bring Madison back home again.

A few days before watching the Poltergeist remake, I came across an article published late last year. The author wondered how they would possibly do the movie without the classic static in the television scene. You can rest assured that the scene definitely appears in this movie. Unfortunately, it really comes across as a remake that we didn't really need.

I checked out the forums before posting my review and read someone who stated it was completely unlike the original film. Hm, a movie about a little girl sucked into a ghostly portal through her television and paranormal activity happening in the house? Sure sounds like the original to me. On the other hand, someone else pointed out that it was more in the vein of Cabin in the Woods than the original Poltergeist, which might explain why I didn't like it, given that I wasn't a big fan of Cabin in the Woods either.

The Poltergeist remake seems like just another attempt to cash in and get fans of old school horror movies into theaters. There wasn't really anything new or exciting, and it didn't bring anything different to the table. A lot of people praised Sam Rockwell (Eric) for his role in the movie, which I didn't get either. He's a great comedic actor, and I can't look at him without thinking of Galaxy Quest, but he didn't do anything more with the role than anyone else would have. He's actually so generic that I can barely remember anything he did in the movie.

The opening plot of the movie didn't really make sense either. He lost his job, they have almost no money, but they somehow get the cash together to buy a new house? It might make sense if they rented a house, but they clearly buy this one. Cut to one scene later, and he has multiple credit cards turned down at the hardware store because they don't have any money left. If money is that tight, it seems like shopping for a new home should be the last thing on their minds.

The only really creepy/scary moments in the movie come from the damn clown doll. Then again, throw any clown doll at me and I'll probably run for the hills. The tree, which scared the crap out of me as a kid, was slightly scary here but nothing like in the original. Poltergeist just seems like one of those movies Hollywood should have left alone.

The Shining Thoughts and Observations

Runtime: 146 minutes

Release Date: May 23, 1980

Rating: R

Director: Stanley Kubrick

*Let me preface this by saying that I am not a fan of The Shining, despite the fact that I own a copy. I actually own all of King's movies and all his books except for maybe the two most recent, but I've only actually watched The Shining maybe three times, including this most recent viewing.

*When Jack went into the room and the woman climbed out of the tub naked, some guys next to us started honking their horn like crazy and screaming, “tits!” over and over again. Needless to say, they got pretty quiet when she transformed into the other version of herself.

*I never realized quite how annoying some of the characters are in this movie! Wendy is so meek and whiny that I wanted to just punch her in the head a few times, and Danny is just a complete brat at times.

*The twin girls are oh so creepy, but I remember them being in a lot more scenes. They show up when Danny first arrives at the hotel and only appear maybe two more times, including one scene where they are dead on the ground.

*I'm a much bigger fan of the how the book ends. Jack winds up dying when the boiler in the hotel explodes, and Dick survives to get away with Wendy and Danny. The book also had some pretty cool scenes involving topiary animals that come to life. Kubrick switched the animals to a hedge maze because the animals would cost too much money.

*If you haven't see the television remake, I highly recommend it. It's obviously a lot longer, but it sticks more faithfully to the book and even ends in the same way.

*I scared the piss out of two women in a car a few rows back. They had never seen the movie before and were completely on edge. I was coming back from the bathroom, and they didn't see me until I was right at their window. One literally bounced right out of her seat. It gave me a secret thrill LOL.

*Dick is easily my favorite character in the movie, which is why his death actually made me pretty sad. I wish Kubrick stuck with the book ending.

*The most disturbing scene is probably the one that takes place in the room between Jack and the dead woman. It's far more gruesome than anything that happens to Danny.

*The Shining, like a lot of Kubrick films, goes on way too long. I went to the bathroom twice just because I couldn't handle sitting still for that long, especially given that there were large chunks of the movie where it felt like nothing happened.

Stick around for more thoughts and observations on classic horror films like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and People Under the Stairs. Next weekend is a tribute to Wes Craven!

American Poltergeist Movie Review – AKA Provoked

Release Date: August 27, 2014

Director: Jordan Pacheco

American Poltergeist, which I sadly made my friends watch recently, opens with a group of paranormal researchers and investigators checking out a reportedly haunted house. The owners of the house started noticing strange things almost immediately after moving in, including finding things moved around the house and something rearranging their groceries. After finishing up the job, one of the investigators, Matt, heads home to the house he lives in with his girlfriend Jamie.

Jamie clearly isn't into the whole ghost thing, which she refers to as his ghost shit. She's even less happy when some of the same stuff that happened in the house he just worked in starts happening in their own home. It starts out slow, with Matt losing his keys one day and later finding the keys sitting on the hook where they always are. She later comes into the kitchen and finds everything from their cabinets sitting on top of each other on the table. Though she tries to tell Matt that something is wrong, he doesn't want to believe her. When the restless spirits decide to take their anger out on Jamie, Matt finally starts to pay attention.

American Poltergeist was one of those movies where we originally laughed and then stopped laughing because it just got a little sad. The main problem with the movie is the editing. There's one scene where Matt leaves the house while it's dark out and supposedly later in the night. He comes back just a few minutes later and it's suddenly bright light outside. When Jamie finds everything rearranged in the kitchen, Matt walks in, opens the cabinets, and doesn't see anything wrong because everything is back in place. If you look closely though, you can clearly see that the cabinets are empty.

Then there is the house itself. As someone with a deep interest in historic architecture and preservation, I had to laugh and roll my eyes when Matt mentioned that it was his family home and had been in his family for awhile. Strange, given that it looks almost exactly like the house my parents owned that was built in the 1940s.

While I wasn't a big fan, I did get a kick out of the plumber in the film. After the faucets begin turning on on their own, Matt, who knows this is a sign of a haunting, decides that they just have old pipes and calls a plumber for help. When something happens to Jamie, Matt rushes her to the hospital and leaves the plumber there alone. Watching him wander through the house and help himself to a beer made me giggle, and I had to laugh even more when the spirits suddenly chase him out of the house.

There were a few good scenes in the movie other than that though. The director did a good job of showing the spirits dragging Jamie and Matt across the floor and around the house in a way that actually makes you believe something unseen is in the room. I also liked some of the end moments where the spirits manage to call Jamie and ask her to come back to the house while sounding exactly like Matt. The spirits even mimic his good friend Paul to make her think the house is safe again.

Except for a few scenes, American Poltergeist is just another horror movie I'll forget within a week.

The Ouija Experiment 2: Theatre of Death aka Ouija Resurrection

Runtime: 86 minutes

Release Date: August 15, 2015

Rating: NR

Director: Israel Luna

For the last six months or so, I had The Ouija Experiment in my Netflix queue and never got around to watching it. On my last fateful trip to Redbox, I grabbed a movie called Ouija Resurrection because I liked the box. Little did I know that it was actually a sequel to a movie I never watched before. Redbox made no mention of the fact that it was a sequel, and I honestly think they deliberately changed the name so people like me wouldn't rent it without seeing the first. I'll try not to taint my review with my extreme displeasure.

Ouija Resurrection doesn't pick up where the first movie left off, which is probably a good thing. Instead, it makes it out like the original movie was just a movie. All the characters from that movie, including some I'm sure died in it, come back to play themselves. They head to a showing off the film at a theater with some of their fans on hand.

When the director opens things up for questions, they learn that the theater where they're screening at is supposedly haunted. There's something about how a woman died in labor and her baby ended up being crazy or something like that. The point is that the family supposedly fed the baby humans to fulfill its cravings for flesh. No one really believes the stories, so you can guess what happens next. People start dying.

Ouija Resurrection is such a confusing movie because there is so much going on. There are a few scenes with actual ghosts running around and attacking people, but there there are scenes that indicate the stories told about the theater are true and that there really is some flesh eating chick hanging out in the basement. Ah, fuck it. There really is a demented crazy lady living in the basement who eats people and her family really does keep her chained up down there and feed her people.

The characters are kind of iffy too. Eric Window, who apparently played Calvin in the first movie, keeps popping up to give his catchphrase from that movie, which is something like, “C to the A to the L to the VIN,” which continues being annoying long after the first time you hear it. I did get a kick out of Swisyzinna, who plays herself. She comes across as the stereotypical African American chick from a horror movie, but she plays it like she knows she's exactly that character. There's one point where she even references it and mentions how it's always the black girl who goes first.

It's also funny the way they set up the Q&A for the movie. Though there's quite a few people on hand, there are literally only two or three people who bother to ask questions. Then there's a subplot about how some favorite fans get the chance to go backstage and meet the actors. This is really just a setup for them to show one of our actors dead with them all thinking it's part of the show they created for them. Oh, and did I mention that there's the stereotypical goth girl with long black hair who keeps feeling things? Yeah, it winds up being way too many things crammed into one movie.

Once I watch The Ouija Experiment, more of this movie might make sense to me, but right now I have to give a thumbs down to everything about The Ouija Experiment except for Swisyzinna, who I totally want to hang out with in real life!