Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Riddle Movie Review – What Happened Kilmer?

Runtime: 100 minutes
Release Date: January 10, 2013
Rating: PG-13
Director: John O. Hartman & Nicholas Mross

The town of Riddle is a sad state, and not just because William Sadler ("Demon Knight" and Val motherfucking Kilmer seem to run the town. No, see Riddle once had a big ass psychiatric institution, but something really bad happened one night. A bunch of people in town set fire to the institution and pretty much just let it burn. Oh, and Kilmer just sat there and watched! And, he was the sheriff at the time! Bad Iceman, bad.

Holly (Elisabeth Harnois, "Point Pleasant") is a young woman who constantly worries about her brother Nathan. When two classic assholes offer the mental challenged young man a ride, he hops in without a second thought. After driving like mad men, they finally let him out at a gas station, but when they go to check on him, he's gone.

Years later, Holly's back in the same area at a farmers market after leaving college. She swears that she sees her brother and hops in her car to give chase, but naturally the car disappears before she can get close. She does find herself back in the town of Riddle, where everyone treats her weird. Sadler warns her to leave, and Kilmer acts like she's crazy before warning his daughter Amber (Diora Bird, "30 Days of Night: Dark Days) to avoid the crazy girl.

Amber instead decides to approach Holly and talk to her because they weren't at all close in high school. Holly tells her the whole story, and Amber offers to help, which in her world means introducing Holly to the two guys who kidnapped her brother in the first place. Yup, turns out that only one out of every 100 people in Riddle every leave, and Holly was one of the lucky ones.

Even though she hates these guys for good reason, she still decides to accept their help. This involves breaking into the records area of town hall, where they discover that Holly and her brother were both adopted after their biological father killed their mother or vice-versa or something like that. This is all just a set up for one of the guys to explain about the big fire.

If I made it sound like I didn't like "Riddle," I apologize. It actually wasn't a terrible movie. Bird is probably my favorite, and as a straight woman, I have no problem admitting that she is incredibly hot. This just isn't the type of movie that you can take seriously. There are so many issues that I don't even know where to start.

How about the fact that Holly only recognizes her brother because of his shoes? Because someone would still have the same shoes years after being kidnapped? Or, how about the fact that one of the guys notices a picture of the truck that Holly saw her brother "in" earlier in the film, even though she never mentioned if it was a truck or what it looked like. Not to mention the fact that we see one character walk over a mile with a bear trap attached to her leg.

"Riddle" is still worth watching if only because of Sadler and Kilmer. How can you not love William Sadler? I'm still upset that from what I've heard, the next Bill and Ted film won't have him in it. What's wrong with those people? Plus, you have Kilmer! How can you not love Kilmer? Lately, it seems like he's following the Nicholas Cage school of acting: take any job someone offers. He acts so cheesy and over the top that it seems like he wants his fans to know that he doesn't take it seriously anymore, which might explain why he came across as my favorite character in the film.

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