I Spit on Your Grave 2 Movie Review

Runtime: 106 minutes
Release Date: September 20, 2013
Rating: R
Director: Steven R. Monroe


Katie is a former Midwestern girl now living in New York City. After a "friend" points out that her photos look like she's a small town girl, she agrees to meet with a photographer and do some new shots for her portfolio. The photographer tries to convince her to take off her clothes and pose for some even better pictures, which she rightly refuses. She later wakes to find Georgie, the brother (or cousin) of the photographer in her apartment and taking photos of her with his cell phone. He brutally rapes her and murders her neighbor who comes to her rescue before calling his family for help.


One of the men forces her to take a large dose of ketamine before they throw her in a box and she passes out. When she wakes up, they send in their "father," who proceeds to use a cattle prod on her multiple times and rape her. Katie eventually escapes and learns she's in Bulgaria, but she finds herself brought back to the same house for a second dose of abuse. When the men decide to dispose of her once and for all, she escapes again, but instead of heading home, she brings vengeance down on the men who wronged her.


There's a scene in "I Spit on Your Grave 2" where a man puts a cattle prod in a very sensitive spot, which made me wince and close my legs a little tighter. My boyfriend laughed at me, until we got to the scene where she places a sensitive part of the male anatomy in a vice and cranks it. That left us both wincing and wondering what the hell we were watching.


"I Spit on Your Grave 2" is an extremely dark movie, which made me feel a little odd for saying that I liked it. The original film had such an impact on me that I still tell people about the bathroom scene. Even though I only saw it once, it left a lasting impression on me, and I feel the same way about this one. The remake was one of those films that I watched once and promptly forgot about. It didn't seem as dark or as gritty as the original, and it felt a little bland to me. I felt completely different about the sequel.


The movie starts out with Katie talking to a friend about her modeling career, and you think you know where it's going. When they stuffed her full of ketamine, I assumed they were trying to frame her and make it look like she murdered her friend before dying of a drug overdose. She later wakes up and finds herself chained to a pole in a weird basement. When she finally escapes from the basement, she discovers that the men somehow sneaked her into Bulgaria, but that's far from the only twist in the film.


Katie is a likeable character, which is rare in a newer horror film. Jemma Dallender, the actress portraying Katie, goes from a sweet and innocent young woman to a vengeful woman who only cares about tracking down the men who took away her innocence, and she does a great job of making me believe in her growth.


"I Spit on Your Grave 2" also has a few gruesome deaths. I don't want to ruin it for anyone, but keep your eyes peeled for a scene involving a man dying of a severe infection brought on by literal shit rubbed into his open wounds. It's the type of film that had me feeling a little squeamish and wondering who comes up with this stuff. Though it's not the type of movie I would watch on a regular basis, it's definitely a solid horror flick and one of those rare sequels that is better than the previous film.

"Escapee" Movie Review – He's Out and Can't Be Stopped

Runtime: 98 minutes

Release Date: September 2, 2011

Rating: R

Director: Campion Murphy

Abby is a psychology major who feels uncomfortable when her college class takes a field trip to an institution. Despite reassurances that the students won't get anywhere near the patients, Jaxson finds a way to get close to her. After the orderlies drag him off, she feels a little shaken and just wants to go home.

She and her two roommates settle down for the night, and Abby starts to forget about what happened, but Jaxson can't forget about her. He manages to escape from the institution, and he heads off in the hopes of tracking down Abby. At the same time, several police officers are hot on his trail including one who has a connection to both Abby and Jaxson.

The best thing about "Escapee" is seeing the number of actors who pop up in a few scenes. Dominic Purcell plays Jaxson, while Danny Nucci shows up as a police officer. Kadeem Hardison also turns up as a cop, and Faith Ford is the one cop who seems to actually give a damn about an escaped inmate.

Once you get past seeing the different actors and wondering what you know them from, the story seems to falter. Purcell is a great psychopath, but his character becomes grating at times. There are only so many scenes that you can handle of someone talking gibberish about a random girl he just met before you want to scream. Scott Elrod does an adequate job playing yet another police officer, but after he keeps popping up to warn the girls of any problems, you start to wonder why he isn't out there looking for the escapee.

"Escapee" is one of those films that you watch once and forget. I'm sure that I'll come across it in a few months and flip it over to read the back before realizing that I already saw it.

"When A Stranger Calls" Movie Review – Have You Checked the Children?

Runtime: 87 minutes

Release Date: February 3, 2006

Rating: PG-13

Director: Simon West

Jill is a typical high school student with a boyfriend and a high cell phone bill. Her dad is so upset over her most recent bill that he grounds her and takes away her phone, and he arranges for her to take a babysitting job for a couple she never met before. As the kids recently were sick, the mother recommends that she just let him sleep, leaving Jill to rummage through the house and watch television all night.

A stranger calls her on the phone, makes some vague comments, and hangs up. When he calls back, she calls the police and asks for help. They can't really do anything, but let her know they might be able to help if he calls back again. Her best friend Tiffany randomly shows up, and when Jill makes her leave, the killer dispatches of her friend. Throughout the night, he keeps calling back until he finally begins asking about the children, leaving Jill to wonder what he really wants.

The original "When A Stranger Calls" is one of my favorite campy films, but the remake is a close second. I know a lot of people hated this film, but I didn't have a problem with it, and I think it holds up well. The mid-2000s saw a number of PG and PG-13 rated horror films hitting the theater, and horror films complained. I saw this in the theater, bought a copy when it came out, and I've probably watched it once a year ever since then. There is just something campy about the movie that I really like.

Camilla Belle manages to carry almost the entire film on her shoulders. For a good portion of the movie, she only interacts with a voice on the phone. She does a great job of playing a teenager who doesn't know what she should do. She doesn't want to call her dad and make him think she's a kid, but she also doesn't want to stay in the house alone.

Speaking of the house, this is easily one of the coolest films I ever saw in any film let alone a horror movie. The house is unbelievably cool and creepy at the same time. If you haven't watched "When A Stranger Calls" because of the bad reviews, just give it a shot.

"Warm Bodies" Movie Review – A Zombie Film for Hipsters

Runtime: 98 minutes

Release Date: February 1, 2013

Rating: PG-13

Director: Jonathon Levine

R is a zombie, but the film skips over what happened that turned people into zombies. Since he can't remember his name, he just calls himself R. Unlike other zombies, the ones in this film form close relationships and connections with each other, and they hunt in packs. R heads off with a group one day after leaving the airport where they live, and they encounter a group of very much alive humans.

After killing a guy named Perry, R absorbs some of his memories, which leads him to grabbing Perry's girlfriend Julie. He keeps remembering moments that the two shared, and he decides that he must save her. He takes her back to the airport, and the more time they spend together, the more he starts to remember about humanity. When Julie leaves him for the comfort of her own people, he and a group of outsider zombies must find her to save the world.

Before "Warm Bodies" came out, I decided to read the book, and it was probably a mistake. The further I read into the book, the more I wanted to roll my eyes. The book is clearly a zombie story written for hipsters, and the movie version plays like a zombie movie for hipsters. This is a movie where the main character wears Beiber-style haircut and a red hoodie for the entire film, and he woos a woman by playing her music that he other people already know, but hipsters decided was cool again.

The entire time I watched the movie, I kept rolling my eyes. Oddly enough, the two guys I watched it with actually liked it a lot better than I did. After reading the reviews, I couldn't understand why so many people loved it. Then I started reading all the little teenagers comparing it to "Twilight," and it suddenly made sense. Adding to it was probably a blurb I read about the author of the book. It mentioned how he wrote several other books before making it big, and made it seem like it was such a struggle for him. Big deal. I've been working as a freelance writer for over five years now, and even though Hollywood hasn't knocked down my door, I still manage to make a good living and feel successful.

I fully admit that I went into the movie with preconceived notions, but "Warm Bodies" didn't leave me feeling warm and fuzzy. While the two leads had some chemistry, their relationship didn't make sense. The book actually did a better job of setting things up between them, while the film had them spend a few days together and fall crazy in love. It also didn't seem like Julie had any real feelings for him, but we were still supposed to root for them as a couple.

I also missed seeing any explanation for the outbreak. R just tells us that he doesn't remember what happened, so we don't know why people became zombies, if they turn other people into zombies, or how some humans managed to survive. The lack of background and the poor excuse for a love story just left me feeling cold.

"Asylum Blackout" Movie Review – When the Lights go Out, the Inmates Will Rise

Runtime: 85 minutes

Release Date: May 4, 2012

Rating: NR

Director: Alexandre Courtes

It's almost impossible to make a living as a musician, which is why the three main characters in "Asylum Blackout" work at a local mental institution in Washington. They don't think it's odd in the slightest because they work behind locked doors and they rarely come into contact with any of the inmates. That all changes when a storm knocks out the power.

Something like this should have a simple resolution. The guards working should know how to round up the inmates, take them back to their cells, and lock them in safely. Instead, the guards don't really know how to do their jobs, making it clear that the asylum, which is again in Washington where it always rains, never thought it might lose power. Those guards demand that the three men help them take care of the inmates. You probably know what happens next. The inmates revolt, kill several guards, and all hell breaks loose.

"Asylum Blackout" shows that not all modern day horror films suck. The lead actors occasionally leave something to be desired especially the actor playing George. At the beginning of the film, he makes it clear that all he cares about is his music. He doesn't work late because he has to practice, and he even turns down his hot girlfriend's offer of sex because he wants to hit the studio. While it makes it believable that he would want to help the guards so he can get home, it doesn't explain why he doesn't really seem to care until the film is almost over.

Some of the scenes in the film are incredibly dark, and there is a fair amount of gore too. I read somewhere that during a screening, two people passed out because of the violence. I don't know if that's true or not, but I also don't think the film is quite that gory. It's better than a number of films made with larger budgets, and it does a good job of showing what filmmakers can do without using CGI.

"Super Cyclone" Movie Review – A Storm's A Coming

Runtime: 89 minutes

Release Date: September 18, 2012

Rating: NR

Director: Liz Adams

Somewhere in the ocean is an oil rig that is drilling for oil. Big surprise, right? They hit a volcano on the ocean floor that someone turns into a massive cyclone that heads toward land. Someone who works for the oil company wants to help stop the storm because he wants to save the men still on the rig, while another woman (Ming Na) has to try and help too.

That is probably the worst synopsis I ever wrote for a film, but that's because this film really doesn't have a lot going on. The entire film just feels like an excuse for the filmmakers to cram in as many unrealistic moments as possible into one film. For no reason that anyone can explain, the sky suddenly catches on fire. The characters in the film just use that moment to explain why they need to amp up their efforts to stop the storm.

We also get a few scenes where the wind is strong enough to pick up a massive truck and tip it over or knock over a thousand ton boat, but the wind doesn't make Na's hair move even an inch. Not to mention the men on the oil rig. They are a major component of the film because they're the ones who drilled into the volcano. They appear in multiple scenes, trying to help stop the storm, and we get multiple scenes of people talking about how important it is that they save those men. Want to guess what finally happens to them? They decide to jump overboard into the fiery ocean and die.

By the time that scene hit, my boyfriend and I looked at each other and asked why we were still bothering to watch it. Though we did wind up finishing the movie, both of us were just waiting for the credits to start rolling.

"Evil Dead" Movie Review – Everything's Gonna Be Fine!

Runtime: 91 minutes

Release Date: April 5, 2013

Rating: R

Director: Fede Alvarez

"Evil Dead" opens with a bunch of random strangers in the basement of a cabin. When a father realizes that his daughter is possessed, he shoots her with a shotgun. It then jumps to Mia, a recovering drug addict, and her friends. Her brother David, his girlfriend Natalie, and their friends Olivia (Jessica Lucas, "The Covenant") and Eric all want her to get better, and they plan on spending the weekend there, in the hopes that she'll get over her addiction.

Eric finds the Book of the Dead and reads from it, releasing the evil surrounding the woods. After an argument, Mia storms from the house, steals a car, crashes it, and finds herself possessed by a demon. She then vomits on Olivia, turning her crazy, and they lock her in the cellar to recover. As things spiral out of control, her friends realize that it isn't just a case of delusions or her addictions taking control of her.

The original "Evil Dead" film didn't need a subplot to explain why a group of friends decided to go to an old cabin in the woods. They were there to party and that was it. With the remake of "Evil Dead," they feel the need to explain that Mia is an addict. I hate to say it, but that's probably where they lost me. I find it impossible to root for a drug addict in any film, and that's pretty much what the writer and director want us to do here.

That's not to say that I didn't dislike the film because it had its moments. It definitely increases the grossness factor of the original. Someone gets stabbed multiple times in the face with a needle, a man beats a woman with part of a sink, and someone rips off their own arm when it gets stuck under a car. There were definitely a few moments in the film when I either pulled a face or actually said something out loud.

My main issue is that it didn't have the campy factor of the original. I love 1980's horror films, and the "Evil Dead" franchise is one of my favorites. This film was just too dark and serious. I know that sounds bad because horror fans want dark films, but it just felt like something was lacking. I know it had a lot of fans, but I can't say I'm one of them.