Runtime:
94 minutes
Rating:
R
Release
Date: November 30, 2012
Director:
Steven C. Miller
“Silent
Night” opens with a young man strapped to a chair with Christmas
lights and a murderous Santa standing nearby. As he begs the man to
let him go, we quickly learn that he was having an affair with a
married woman and that Santa does not like cheaters. Once he
electrocutes the man, which leads to his eyeballs popping out, I
quickly get over my crush on Brendan Fehr (“Christina's House”)
and Santa moves on to his next victim.
Sheriff
James Cooper (Malcolm McDowell, “Halloween”) hates everything
about his small town, which hosts a massive Christmas celebration.
His deputy Audrey (Jaime King, “My Bloody Valentine”) lost her
husband a year ago and isn't too happy about celebrating, but she
frequently gets annoyed when the sheriff takes over for her. He's
just excited that he finally gets to do something.
Since
the town hosts one of the biggest Santa costume contests in the
world, our killer gets to roam around town and no one takes a second
look. Audrey and Cooper discover that Santa is killing people who
made his naughty list, and they target Jim Epstein (Donal Logue,
“Shark Night”), a traveling Santa who delights in telling kids
the truth. Despite bringing him in for questioning, the real Santa is
still out there.
I was
one of those annoying people who got up in arms when they announced
plans to remake “Silent Night, Deadly Night.” Luckily, this film
has almost nothing in common with the original. Is it the worst
horror movie ever made? No. Is it the best horror film ever made? Not
at all.
While
it isn't a fantastic movie, it's far better than some of the other
remakes that we've seen in recent years. The top star of the film, no
matter what the poster says, is Logue. I have loved him since “The
Tao of Steve” and “Grounded for Life,” and I love him even more
after “Silent Night.” He only appears in a few scenes, but those
scenes are worth every penny. When he told one kid that he would
bring him everything on his list and if they weren't there on
Christmas Day, it meant that his parents sold the gifts on eBay, I
almost bust a gut.
Then
there are the kill scenes, which are much better than most horror
movies. One particularly bratty tween tells her mother, “fuck
Christmas,” which leads to Santa pulling a hammer from his bag of
treats. Then there's the naked woman tossed in a wood chipper and the
daughter of the mayor and her boyfriend who Santa interrupts in the
bedroom.
My
main problem in the film is King. I know that some people really like
her, but I find her a pretty terrible actress. She almost always has
a vacant look in her eyes, and when she needs to take a stand, it
seems unbelievable. McDowell is far better, playing every scene like
he's in an Oscar-nominated movie. One of my favorite movie lines is
now, “don't put avocado on the burger,” which is why he tells
Audrey when explaining that the simplest explanation is usually the
best. “Silent Night” probably won't make any top 10 lists at the
end of the year, but it might just become one of those films I pull
out during the holidays.
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