Wednesday, April 10, 2013

"Rise of the Zombies" Movie Review – Even Alcatraz Isn't Safe

Runtime: 89 minutes
Rating: NR
Release Date: October 27, 2012
Director: Nick Lyon

When a zombie apocalypse happens, you tend to want to be somewhere safe. If you're Rick from "The Walking Dead," it seems like a hospital or a prison is your best bet. If you're one of the people in "Rise of the Zombies," it seems like nowhere is actually safe.

This plucky band of survivors, which include LeVar Burton, Mariel Hemingway, Danny Trejo, and Ethan Suplee, decide to live on Alcatraz. You might think that this is the safest place on earth, but the film actually opens with a scene of the zombies making their way onto the island. They keep listening to radio reports from a doctor played by French Stewart, who keeps experimenting in the hopes of finding a cure for the infection. After a zombie attack that leaves some of the group dead, the survivors leave the island behind to track him down.

We saw a trailer/preview for "Rise of the Zombies" on another movie, and between Burton and Suplee, we knew we had to see it. It didn't help that I recently watched the entire run of "My Name is Earl" for the fourth time. Sadly, neither of those actors nor the talented Hemingway can save this film. I love movies from The Asylum because even though the movies are low-budget, they're entertaining enough for my group. This one was just bad.

After it ended, the conversation between me and my boyfriend went something like this:

BF: That wasn't that bad.
ME: Are you kidding me?
BF: What?
ME: That was bad.
BF: Not as bad as some of the shit you make me watch.
ME: That was bad for The Asylum bad.
BF: Fair enough.

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