Thursday, January 31, 2013

"30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"

Runtime: Unknown
Release Date: January 15, 2013
Rating: R
Director: Craig Moss

Poor, poor Dana. Her father went absolutely batshit crazy when possessed by a demon. When priests arrived to do an exorcism, he killed the entire cast of the Oscar-winning film "The Artist," and poor Dana wound up in an asylum. Now that she's all better, she decides to move back into the house where it all happened with her own family, and the film turns into a parody of every major horror film in the last year or so.

There's her daughter, who looks like she's wearing a cheap costume of "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo," Abraham Lincoln, who lives next door and just so happens to fight vampires, the sexy vampires who show up in the middle of the night, the ghost, who likes to pleasure himself, watch porn, and smoke pot on camera, etc., etc., etc.

Have you ever watch a movie where you started laughing in the first few things and thought to yourself, damn, this is going to be a good film? Have you ever watched in horror as the laughs slowly disappeared? That's pretty much how I felt about this one.

I originally saw a trailer for the flick and thought it looked pretty funny. We rented it the night it came out, and sat down to watch it as a group. The first few scenes had some nice moments, but it was hit or miss for much of the rest of the film. The best scenes came early on, when in a parody of "Storage Wars," two women bought a storage locker with Adele living inside. As someone who watches that show and all of its spin-offs, those scenes were pretty darn funny.

The problem is that "30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" just goes downhill from there. It actually got to the point where I was wincing at some of the jokes, looked around and realized that everyone else was too. We actually made it to the end of the movie, but it wasn't nearly the laugh riot I hoped it might be.

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