Martyrs Remake – Completely Unnecessary

Length: 86 minutes

Release Date: January 22, 2016

Rating: NR

Director: Kevin and Michael Goetz

Martyrs opens with Lucie, a young girl who escapes from an unnamed person and runs for help. The police follow her directions back to a warehouse but find no evidence of anyone there. Lucie then goes to a Catholic orphanage and eventually becomes friends with Anna. Anna is the one she turns to after having a series of nightmares about what she saw during her ordeal. The police later bring in Anna and reveal that they believe Lucie made up the whole thing.

Years later, Lucie is a young woman with a mission. She knocks on the door of a seemingly normal house and blows away the man who answers with a shotgun. Lucie then shoots his wife, asks his son if he knows what they did to him, and kills him too before chasing the man's teenage daughter upstairs and killing her too. Once done, she calls Anna, tells her that she found them, and confesses what she did.

Anna quickly rushes to the house. Though Lucie told her that she found the people who did something bad to her, she thought they would go the police together. What she finds instead are a series of dead bodies that Lucie asks her to help get rid of to make “her” finally stop. Anna discovers that the wife is still alive and tries to help her escape, but Lucie catches them and brutally murders the woman. 

Though Anna doesn't necessarily believe the whole story, she's forced to change her mind after uncovering a hidden series of rooms behind a locked door in the basement. Not only does she find a series of locked rooms, but she also finds a young woman with a similar story to Lucie. Though she promises to help the little girl escape, things change when Eleanor arrives with a group of men who drag the girls back inside. After revealing that Lucie was their martyr years ago, she tells Anna that they want to find someone who will tell them what life is like on the other side. As they begin experimenting on both women, Anna discovers that her friend was telling the truth all along.

When I saw the original Martyrs, I spent most of the movie trying not to look at the screen and squirming because it was so disgusting and disturbing. When we sat down to watch the remake, I warned the boyfriend of that film. Needless to say, neither of us found many scenes in the Martyrs remake very disturbing.

It literally felt like someone tool the original script, decided to dumb it down, took out everything that made that film so unsettling, and then made a remake. That scene where the doctor skins her alive? Yup, it's now a small section of her back removed. Oh, and remember how Lucie kills herself in the original because she can't take her life anymore? Now she survives to the very end with Anna, and the only weird thing that happens to Anna is that they give her electroshock.

This movie was an insult to the original and a movie that didn't need made. It was so different and completely unlike the original that I actually expected to see the cops swoop in, shoot everyone, and save the day in the last scene. Do yourself a favor, skip this one and watch the original.

 

Now on Netflix: The Sacrament Movie Review

Runtime: 99 minutes
Release Date: May 1, 2014
Rating: R
Director: Ti West


I am probably one of Netflix's favorite customer types because I never run out of things to watch. My queue (I refuse to call it my list) currently has 496 titles in it, and every time I dip below 490, I wind up adding another 5-7 titles. Since my queue has a number of horror movies in it, I thought I would do a new feature where I try to review a horror movie now available on Netflix every few weeks or so. First up? The Sacrament.


Patrick is your average normal guy who just so happens to have a recovering addict for a sister. When Caroline invites him to come visit her in the middle of nowhere at the retreat where she lives called Eden Parish, he isn't too keen on the idea. That all changes when he finds out more about the mysterious history of the place and how it now has guards watching over it 24/7. When he tells his friends about it, they decide to go with him and make a documentary about the place. Along for the ride Sam, a reporter, and Jake, the cameraman.


Once they get there, the helicopter pilot they hired to take them informs them that if they aren't ready to leave when he comes back the next day, he'll leave without them. They then find a large group of guards with big guns watching over the entrance who initially refuse to let them through. They finally get inside and briefly consider leaving before Caroline appears and tells them lots of stories about her new life. Though they receive free rein to wander through the compound, it doesn't take long for them to realize they made a huge mistake.


The Sacrament is easily one of the most unsettling horror movies I've seen in awhile. It wasn't that long ago that I watched a documentary on the Jonestown Massacre, and with all that fresh in my mind, The Sacrament had me squirming in my seat.


One of the more unsettling moments occurred early in the film when Sam has the chance to sit and talk with Father, the leader of their group on camera. Though initially promised that he would answer any questions, they later learn that he will only answer general questions about specific topics. He then demands that the interview take place in a public forum right before some big party. The way Father turns the tables on Sam and the way the people just stared at him with shiny eyes made me truly uncomfortable.


Then there's the woman and her young daughter who clearly have some problems. The guys learn that the little girl is mute but that there might be a reason why she no longer talks. They then find themselves surrounded by a group of people who want nothing more than to get the hell out of the compound and that they would rather leave with these strangers than spend one more day with Father.


Oh, and did I mention how a wholesome and innocent looking nurse tells them about how all their followers sold off everything they owned and gave the money to Father before they could even move in?


The ending left me feeling fairly empty and left me watching 3^rd Rock From the Sun for the rest of the night. The Sacrament is definitely one of those movies that will leave you feeling unsettled and out of sorts after you watch it. While it might not be a horror movie in the larger sense of the word, it's definitely a disturbing movie that will make you think about what you would do in the same situation.

Darkroom Movie Review – Beware of Modeling Job Offers

Runtime: 80 minutes
Release Date: July 3, 2013
Rating: R
Director: Britt Napier


Michelle is a woman desperately in need of some help. After a drinking and driving accident took the life of her boyfriend, she found herself in rehab and working closely with Rachel (Elizabeth Rohm, Angel). After she leaves rehab, Rachel offers to set her up working for a photographer named Larry. When Michelle arrives at his palatial home, she learns that he really needs her to work as a model because his flaked for the day.


Though Michelle isn't comfortable with the idea, she agrees to model for him. His assistant helps her pick out an outfit and do her hair and makeup. Michelle then finds herself trapped in a room and watching another woman in the same outfit on a live video feed on her television. When she eventually escapes from her room, she learns that Larry has a close relationship with Rachel and that both want her to repent for her sins. Until she admits the truth, they won't let her escape, but she somehow knows that even if she does give into their demands, there is still no escape for her...


I saw a trailer for Darkroom a few weeks ago and didn't think much of it until I realized that it was actually in my Nextflix queue. (BTW, I refuse to call it "My List;" it's still my queue.) It had an interesting premise, but sadly, it didn't really deliver on the premise. The trailer made it seem like a tight little thriller about a woman trapped in a big home and trying to escape a serial killer. It's really a slow and prodding movie about a woman trying to escape a handful of religious nut jobs that refuse to believe that she is free of sin.


Of course, we learn that she really isn't free of sin. Every time that she talks about her boyfriend's death, she flashes back to the moment when they all climbed in the car. They show that scene so many times that you just know it isn't the whole story. By the time she admits that she was the one driving drunk, you really don't care anymore.


It doesn't help that the movie introduces characters and expects us to care about them for no reason. Oh, that one woman tied up in a room is a girl that we saw for five seconds in the beginning? Well of course Michelle should risk her life to save her then. The characters that we do like and care about end up being just as crazy as the killers. As soon as Darkroom finished, I deleted it from my queue and started forgetting about it.