Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Movie Review – Read the Book!

Runtime: 108 minutes

Release Date: February 5, 2016

Rating: PG-13

Director: Burr Steers

Anyone who ever took a woman's literature class in college or a course on British literature probably read Pride and Prejudice before. While adding zombies to the story should make things more interesting (and keep me from nodding off), the film version was pretty meh.

Just in case you don't know the story, the writer literally took the original book and added new scenes that involve the Bennett sisters hunting zombies while trying to find husbands and spend time together as a family. All the iconic characters are here, including Mr. Darcy, who actually does do the jump into the pond while fully dressed that so many women love. It's basically a classic British story with elements of love and scenes of zombies thrown in the middle.

The first time I saw a trailer for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, my jaw literally dropped. Though I remember reading the book in college, I also remember finding it so boring that I skipped entire sections and skimmed over pages just to get to the end. Throwing in action sequences and letting the ladies fight zombies at the same time seemed like a great idea. I should also admit here that I absolutely loved Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and got a kick out of the film version. As much as I wanted to like this movie, it just didn't do it for me.

The problem is that it felt like such a departure from the book itself. I kept waiting for scenes that I would recognize from the book, but it felt like the screenwriter and directed wanted to make a movie that focused more on the zombie elements than on the original story. Instead of getting scenes of the girls talking about love, we get scenes of them talking about weapons or sharpening their weapons. There were very few scenes that seemingly came from the book, which leaves me suspicious that the film only features the new elements added to the book.

You can't think about Pride and Prejudice without thinking about Elizabeth and Darcy. Despite the two of them having their share of ups and downs, you know that they'll wind up together in the end. The film spent so much time keeping them apart that I didn't even pick up on a romance vibe. It probably didn't help that the two had absolutely no chemistry together. Darcy came across as just some random guy who happens to kill zombies instead of a romantic lead.

After reading reviews that talked about how funny the film was, I kept waiting for a scene that would make me laugh. Being a huge fan of Monty Python and Hot Fuzz type films, it really didn't deliver any laughs, not even “dead” pan laughs.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was just plain boring and something I can't imagine myself ever watching again.

Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse – My New Favorite

Runtime: 93 minutes

Release Date: October 30, 2015

Rating: R

Director: Christopher Landon

After seeing Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse, I officially have a new favorite zombie/horror/spoof movie.

Ben, Carter, and Augie are best friends and scouts together. While Augie still loves being a scout, his friends actually hate it and are ready to quit, especially Carter who thinks they'll never have a chance with the ladies if they stay in the group. Scout Leader Rogers hosts a recruitment day designed to get new boys to join up, but even though it fails miserably, he plans to take them out on a group camping night.

Unfortunately, a janitor working in a biology/medical lab nearly accidentally releases a man infected with a zombie virus. Scout Leader Rogers discovers this for himself when he encounters a zombie deer in the woods and then an infected doctor. The three guys show up for the camp out and think it's weird that he never showed up but go ahead with it anyway. Ben and Carter try to sneak out in the middle of the night after receiving an invitation from Carter's sister's boyfriend to hit up the hot senior party. Augie catches them and seems sad but lets them go.

When the two boys arrive back in town, they find everything practically deserted. Carter thinks this is the perfect time for them to sneak into the strip club, which only ends up with them getting attacked by a zombie stripper and bouncer. Luckily Denise, a hot former student who dropped out of their high school to work at the club, is there to help. The new group of three then meet up with Augie and find themselves tasked with saving the world from the zombies trying to take over their town.

Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse is a movie that you really need to see for yourself. It's almost as funny as Tucker and Dale vs. Evil and exactly what I would expect to see in a movie where Tucker and Dale have to fight zombies. There were so many funny scenes that I thought it wouldn't hold up well to a second viewing. After watching it with the roommate one night, I watched it with the boyfriend the next night and loved it just as much.

Some of the more hilarious scenes revolve around Scout Leader Rogers who evidently cannot be killed. Augie accidentally sets him on fire and then leaves him tied to a chair in his basement, and he still survives. Oh, and did I mention that he has an obsession with Dolly Parton? I never thought I would see a movie with a teenage scout running from a zombie while 9 to 5 played in the background, but I'm glad I did.

The only real issue is the crush that Ben has on Carter's sister. She seems like a nice enough character but there's nothing really memorable about her. When he meets Denise and has clear chemistry with her – they even share a kiss – it's hard to see why he would waste his time trying to save a girl who basically never looked twice at him before and has a boyfriend.

Other highlights include Cloris Leachman as the neighborhood's crazy cat lady, the infection taking over her cats, and a teenage girl having a sexual encounter with a zombie. All in all, Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse was just plain good fun.

Hidden Movie Review – A Unique Twist on the Zombie Flick

Runtime: 84 minutes

Release Date: September 15, 2015

Rating: R

Director: The Duffer Brothers (Matt and Ross Duffer)

Ray, his wife Claire and their daughter Zoe are forced to live underground in a fallout shelter at an old school. When Hidden first opens, the three are already living their lives underground and fearing the monsters that walk above. Though they seemingly have everything, Zoe seems especially worried about what goes on above ground and clings to an old doll.

As the movie unfolds, we learn what happened prior to the opening of the film. While planning a day of fun between Zoe and a neighbor boy, Zoe came home and told her parents that the boy and his family were leaving. The other couple refused to say much expect to warn them that they needed to get out of town as soon as possible. When they tried to leave, they found that the government blocked off all access and refused to let anyone leave because of an outbreak in their city. The military then bombed the city, leaving the family to seek shelter underground.

After briefly arguing over whether to eat beans or peaches for dinner, Zoe reveals that there are no peaches. Closer inspection reveals that something punctured their canned goods and ate the food inside. Though Zoe instantly assumes it was one of the monsters they call breathers, her parents claim it was just a rat. As Hidden continues on, we eventually learn more about the breathers and the infection that struck the town.

I have mixed feelings about Hidden. While it's a good movie and really does bring something new to the zombie genre, I can't imagine myself watching it again. It seems like one of those movies that you might recommend to others and one you can appreciate but not one that will become one of your new favorites.

The movie has an unsettling feel, mainly because it surrounds just three people stuck in a small space for most of its runtime. It almost reminded me of The Descent because of its creepy vibe. Except for a few scenes that take place at the very end and some scenes set in the past, the movie takes place entirely in the fallout shelter. It takes strong acting to keep your attention, and Hidden definitely has some strong acting.

While some reviews focus on Alexander Skarsgard, I want to give it up for Andrea Riseborough as Claire and Emily Alyn Lind as Zoe. Riseborough is phenomenal as a woman who knows more than she lets on and as a woman trapped between her husband and child. While she wants to protect her daughter from the dangers outside, she still wants to be a good wife. Lind also does a really good job for someone of her age. Though she's a bit annoying at times, she shows a lot of depth.

Hidden is one of the more unique films I've watched this year and especially this month. It's a dark and unsettling movie that will leave you wondering what you would do in a similar situation, and it features some great acting. Hidden definitely stuck in my mind and is one that I'll remember for awhile, but it's also not the type of horror movie I could see myself watching again and again.

Fido Movie Review – A Boy and His Zombie

Runtime: 93 minutes

Release Date: March 16, 2007

Rating: R

Director: Andrew Currie

In another universe that pretty much looks like Earth in the 1950s, space radiation led to the dead coming back to life as zombies. Though the two sides battled it out, humans eventually won. That led to humans buying and selling zombies as commodities. They use them for everything from security guards to house boys.

Bill is a husband and father who fought in the zombie wars and now wants nothing to do with zombies in any shape or size. That makes it a little unusual when his wife Helen decides to bring home one for their house. Timmy, their son, isn't too sure about the zombie but gives it the name Fido, which his father dislikes because he doesn't think zombies deserve names and because he worries that his son will grow too attached to the zombie.

Though Fido wears the same collar that others do to keep the zombies in line, his collar breaks. After escaping from the yard, he attacks a neighbor and turns her into one of the dead. The local security company manage to stop the second zombie from infecting others and causing a second outbreak, but the company must investigate to find out which zombie got loose. Then it kind of turns into a movie about a boy and his zombie against the world.

Fido is one of those movies that I heard about a lot and never got the chance to watch. In fact, I even added it to my Netflix queue a few years ago. When I renewed my membership last year, it was one of the only things still in my list from back then. Despite never watching it, I knew I had to when I found out it was expiring soon.

Though it has a great premise, it wasn't my favorite. While it has some funny moments and some good acting, there was just something I didn't like about it. Carrie-Anne Moss is great as Helen, the housewife stuck between the life she always wanted and the life she has, and K'Sun Ray did a good job as the adorable little scamp Timmy. Billy Connolly did a good job as the zombie too.

While I wanted to like it, there was just something a little too off putting about the story. Helen winds up falling for Fido and treating him more like a friend and later a boyfriend than she does a servant. When she finally ends up with him at the end, I can safely say that I was probably the only person not rooting for the two of them.

Helen isn't a very good character either. While I get that she's an unhappy housewife, she constantly laughs and pokes fun at her husband. We're supposed to laugh because we're not supposed to like him, but he's basically a veteran who helped save millions of people from becoming zombies. Most movies ask us to hate zombies because they will eat our faces off and kill us, but this movie wants us to root for those same characters.

Now that I've seen Fido, I can cross it off my list. I know a lot of people loved it, but I wasn't a big fan.

Doc of the Dead – The Ultimate Zombie Documentary

Runtime: 81 minutes

Release Date: June 14, 2014

Rating: NR

Director: Alexandre O. Phillippe

I occasionally get a bee in my bonnet and wind up watching a slew of documentary films or adding a bunch of those films to my Netflix queue. That ends with me telling my friends all these random facts about serial killers, animals, health insurance, or some other random topic. After watching Doc of the Dead, they can look forward to hearing all about zombies in the coming days!

Doc of the Dead opens with a scene of a zombie outbreak with Bruce Campbell and Simon Pegg doing voiceover work. It then jumps right into a detailed discussion of zombie movies and the zombie phenomenon. While the description makes it seem like this is a documentary about the history of the zombie movie, it doesn't really play out like that. It's more a documentary about how zombies became so popular over the years.

A good portion of the documentary focuses on Night of the Living Dead with George Romero himself talking about making the film. It then glosses over some of the films that came later before hitting on Shaun of the Dead. Romero even comments that it's his favorite zombie movie that he didn't make himself. We also get to hear about how it might be the second best zombie movie of all time and how it spoke to an entire generation of people in the same way that Clerks did.

Look, I love Shaun of the Dead, so much so that when my roommate revealed he never saw it last year, I made a noise that sounded like a dying cat. When I couldn't find my copy, I marches his ass to the used DVD store, bought a copy, and made him watch it that same night. As much as I love it, I don't know if it really spoke to a whole generation of people. Maybe it's because I don't live in Britain, but I thought it was just a sound movie that did a great job of mixing horror and comedy.

Since this film is all about zombies, we also have to hear a lot about The Walking Dead. While I did like that they brought in the artists from the comic book, it seemed like it jumped too fast from the comic book to the show and everything that came later. If it weren't for the artists, the show wouldn't exist, and I wanted to see more about the comic. Then again, I missed the entire last season of the show and am not the biggest fan of Fear the Walking Dead, so I may not be the best judge for that segment.

Other documentary films dedicated to the horror genre usually focus solely on horror movies, but this one actually looked at other elements, which I liked. We get to hear about the world famous zombie walk in Denver and how it grew from less than 50 people in its first year to more than 15,000 people today. Then we hear from the author of The Zombie Survival Guide and what prompted him to write the book. We even hear from the people making survival spaces for people concerned with real life zombie outbreaks.

Doc of the Dead wound up being more interesting than I expected, but it expires from Netflix soon, so watch it fast!

Maggie Movie Review – Schwarzenegger Like You Never Saw Him Before

Runtime: 95 minutes

Release Date: May 8, 2015

Rating: PG-13

Director: Henry Hobson

Wade lives in a not too distant future where an infection started and began spreading to other people. He lives with his daughter Maggie, second wife Caroline, and a little boy and girl who are either their kids or her kids, no one really explains that. Wade takes Maggie to the doctor, and we learn that while she has the infection, it's still in the early stages. The doctor sends them home with a warning to keep an eye on her.

It doesn't take long before Maggie starts acting a little weird. While swinging outside and remembering her mother, she goes a little crazy and breaks/bites her finger. Caroline worries that this is a sign she's changing, but Wade brushes it off like it's nothing. He later encounters two of the turned outside and has to kill them to protect his family. The police come by later to announce that one of his neighbors kept her family members locked up instead of notifying the authorities. They remind Wade that he must turn in Maggie when things get too bad.

It turns out that in this version of the zombie apocalypse, people are generally cool about it. Maggie even gets the chance to hang out with her friends one night. One of the other boys is infected, and when the other guys tease him about it, Maggie goes to support him and spend some time with him. Unfortunately, Maggie later finds the same boy at home with the police ready to pick him up and take him to quarantine. As the film progresses, Wade must find a way to keep his wife happy and protect his daughter at the same time.

Maggie is a very...strange movie? There's something about it that I just can't put my finger on. It's not that I didn't like it, but it's not like I did like it either. It's essentially a zombie movie or an infected apocalypse movie that doesn't play like one of those movies. Everyone seems to know exactly what to do to take care of the problem without actually taking care of the problem. They leave infected people out to roam the streets until they finally turn and then put them in a quarantined area.

The other issue is that the movie is just really slow. Things go at such a slow pace that I occasionally just wanted to shake the characters and tell them to do something. Even Maggie's transformation is completely gradual. There are a few things that show you something is off, including a black scab on her arm, black veins, and her eyes clouding over, but she acts totally normal. She still has a crush on a guy and still wants to do all the normal teenage things. Her friends don't even seem to have a problem with her, despite the fact that she could literally rip their faces off at any moment.

The one thing I can recommend is Schwarzenegger himself. Man, I never expected to see him in a movie like this, especially after watching his most recent films. He does an admirable job of playing a man torn between the two women in his life. When he takes his daughter to show her the garden growing over her mom's grave, I seriously almost teared up.

Though Maggie is kind of a zombie movie, it's not like any zombie movie I ever saw before. Given it's slow pace and dark tone, I'm still on the fence about how I feel.

Life After Beth – Better After Some Thought

Runtime: 89 minutes
Release Date: July 15, 2014
Rating: R
Director: Jeff Baena


Zach doesn't know quite what to do with himself after learning that his girlfriend Beth died. While trying to cope with her passing, he starts spending a lot of time with her parents Maury and Geenie. They play games, talk about Beth, and generally just try to be there for each other. When he goes over to their house one day, he finds the door locked and they won't answer it even though he can see them. After gaining access to their home, he discovers that Beth is alive again.


Instead of her parents faking her death, he learns that Beth actually came back from the dead. Unfortunately, Beth thinks everything is fine and has no idea that she died, nor does she know that they actually broke up before her death. Zach tries to pretend that everything is fine between them, even as Beth goes off the deep end. She constantly tries to have sex with him, breaks through walls and exhibits other types of super strength, and even sets fire to a lifeguard stand at one time. Since he can't tell anyone that she's back from the dead, he has to find a way to play nice with his dead girlfriend at the same time that his own parents attempt to set him up with the pretty girl next door.


Life After Beth is a good movie, but only after you step back and give it some thought. When we first watched it, we all sat there for awhile with our WTF faces on. None of us were particularly fond of it, which was odd because we all love Aubrey Plaza. I turned all my friends onto Parks and Recreation, and I think I'm the only person who actually enjoyed the first season. After a few weeks though, we realized that we were constantly quoting the movie and bringing up scenes to make each other laugh.


The sad thing is that this is definitely a Plaza movie, but Plaza really isn't that funny in this one. The exception are the scenes at the very end when she's strapped to an oven and trying to walk, but you can see those moments in the trailer. The real standouts are all the background characters.


Molly Shannon is hysterical as Beth's mom, especially towards the end when she has no clue what is going on around here. John C. Reilly is also pretty damn funny as Beth's dad. Then you have Cheryl Hines and Paul Resier as Zach's parents. It's always nice to see Reiser pop up in something and actually get a few good lines.


I was also a big fan of Matthew Gray Gubler. He plays Zach's older brother who is obsessed with following the laws and keeping people safe. When he joins the local group tasked with stopping the zombie invasion, I couldn't stop laughing. Plus we get a fun little cameo from Gary Marshall when he comes back from the dead. Even Anna Kendrick turns up as the girl dating Zach. One of the best moments comes when Zach is trying to talk about Beth and she gets super confused because she thought his girlfriend was dead.


Life After Beth is a smart comedy/horror film, and I think it's the type of movie that requires multiple viewings.

Dead Weight Movie Review – Love in the Time of Infections...

Runtime: 89 minutes
Release Date: March 30, 2012
Rating: ?
Director: Adam Bartlett and John Pata


Charlie and Sam have the perfect relationship, or so it might seem on the surface. When Dead Weight starts, Sam calls Charlie at home and asks if he saw the news. She then guesses that he's actually sitting around reading comic books instead of doing something productive, since it seems like that's all he does. Charlie flips on the news and hears of a deadly infection spreading throughout the country. It hasn't yet hit his hometown of Toledo, but it has hit Sam's current town of Milwaukee.


The film then jumps an unspecified period of time into the future. Sam now finds himself traveling across the Midwest with three other men and one woman. He frequently thinks back to his time with Sam, which gives us a better glimpse of their relationship. We learn that she originally moved to Milwaukee for a three month internship that turned into a job she took without talking to Charlie first. Despite the two having some serious issues, he only cares about finding his way back to her.


Along the way, Charlie and his group encounter a number of problems. They have a hard time finding food anywhere, aren't sure about shelter, and frequently wonder what will happen next. Three men approach them and attempt to kidnap the only female in their group, which ends badly. They also meet a nice couple with no ulterior motives, but when that couple reveals to Charlie what happened to the town where Sam went, all bets are off.


Dead Weight does a really smart job of bouncing back and forth between scenes of Charlie and Sam in the past and his current location. In a Momento-like twist, the film tells the story of their relationship backwards. We start out seeing him visit her in Milwaukee the last time, and we then get to see his first visit, how he learned about her job, and at the very end, we even see how they first met.


This should make us care a lot about the two characters as a couple but things hit a little too close to home at times. Sam occasionally comes across as if she doesn't care about Charlie as much as he cares about her. She shows clear signs of disliking his lifestyle, as in the way he slacks off at times, and she doesn't seem happy that he's perfectly content to spend the day reading comic books and watching television while visiting her instead of going out and exploring the town on his own. I don't know about you, but if I was in a new city where I knew no one except for one person, I'd probably want us to do things together instead of spending hours wandering through the city on my own.


Maybe if I cared more about that relationship, I would care more about Charlie's journey. As it stands though, Charlie is one of those characters that you really can't care about. The choices he makes and the things he does are completely unforgivable. He even seems to change the way he thinks and acts. He goes from doing whatever it takes to save a girl from being raped, but he then completely deserts that woman in the middle of nowhere and does something pretty bad before leaving her. He justifies his actions by claiming that he does it to get back to Sam, but it really just seems like he's searching for something to hold onto and that makes him go a little crazy.


It's not your typical zombie/infection movie either, namely because we pretty much never seen any zombies. There's lots of talk about infected people, but we never see a single one until the last few scenes of the movie. Most of the film follows the same four people traveling around and looking for food and flashbacks of Charlie and Sam.


While there were some scenes and moments that I truly liked, Dead Weight didn't really feel like a horror movie. It felt more like a sad love story between two characters who really didn't belong together. Though I did feel tempted to shed a few tears at the very end, it just left me wishing that the two shared some better chemistry and had more of a connection that would have left me caring more about their future.

Antisocial Movie Review

Runtime: 90 minutes
Release Date: January 28, 2014
Rating: NR?
Director: Cody Calahan


Sam is just like any other college student except that she's in love with a total tool. After talking with her boyfriend, who seems anything but a good boyfriend, via video chat, she tells him that they need to talk about something. Sensing that she wants to break up, he decides to pull the plug on their relationship and end things completely. Upset, she turns to RedRoom, the Facebookesque site everyone on campus uses to keep in touch, where she learns that he spent the night with another chick the night before.


Luckily, she has her best friend and the much cuter Mark by her side. As it's New Year's Eve, he suggests that she come over to his house for a party. Though she isn't really in the mood to party, she agrees to stop by, which was probably a huge mistake.


See, there's a virus sweeping the country that seemingly uses RedRoom to spread. Kaitlin wants nothing more than to party and have fun with her boyfriend Steve, while Jed seems more interested in video chatting with one of his friends online. While Kaitlin does a strip tease for Steve upstairs, Jed's friend warns them of the upcoming danger.


A knock on the door reveals that one of their friends from earlier in the night came back. Jed warns them that he's infected and showing some of the more common symptoms, and they agree to send him away. Sam throws up in the kitchen sink, but no worries, she's not infected. She's actually pregnant, which is what she wanted to tell her boyfriend about earlier.


After checking out RedRoom on his phone, Steve becomes infected. It doesn't take long before he starts showing symptoms, so you know Kaitlin is infected too. Sadly, the whole group is stuck inside a house that they locked down and barricaded from the world, so who knows who will make it out alive? Well, I know, but if you want to know, you need to just watch the movie.


I first heard about Antisocial a few months ago while checking out trailers on XBOX Live. It looked really interesting and made me tell my roommate about it, but I promptly forgot about it. Picked it up at Redbox the other night, and I'm glad I did. Antisocial was a refreshing change of pace from the Hollywood hack films that came out lately.


It's hard to explain what the movie is because it tends to jump around. It's definitely a plague/virus film, but it later turns into something of a zombie flick. We've all seen too many bad zombie films lately, so it's nice that this one offers something a little different. We all use Facebook or some form of social networking nearly every day, and this one might make you think twice before you log on the next time.


Antisocial does a good job of setting up the plot early in the film. Sam, while still chatting with her boyfriend, sees a man seizing on campus, who later turns out to be one of the first victims. We also see some video clips from two young girls on their blog as they succumb to the virus. When the movie jumps into an explanation of what happened and how the virus spread, I started to lose focus. When it jumped to a cure for the virus, I was all in.


I know I’ve said this a few times lately, but Antisocial is one of my top horror picks for the year. It had characters I cared about, some nice acting, and a strong story that hooked me in and made me keep watching.

Birth of the Living Dead – The Start of Romero

Runtime: 76 minutes
Release Date: October 18, 2013
Rating: NR
Director: Rob Kuhns


You know how you sometimes watch the "making of" and special features on DVDs and just kind of roll your eyes because all the information documented is something you've seen before. That's pretty much how I felt about Birth of the Living Dead.


I've watched a number of documentary films on Netflix, and I have a tendency to love the ones that cover B movies, cheesy films, and horror movies. When this one popped up as a recommendation for me, I added it to my queue and sat down to watch it when I had a few minutes. I assumed it would be something like The Elm Street Legacy, but it came across as a been there, done there kind of film.


When I discovered that this has a fairly high rating, I was shocked. Do people really enjoy it that much, or is just a case of giving it a high rating because it involves George Romero. I kept waiting for it to touch on something new or at least give me some inside stories that I never heard before, but it just felt like a rehash of information I can find dozens of other places.


Maybe it's because I’ve owned and watched DVDs on everything from Night of the Living Dead to Survival of the Dead, but it felt more like an ode to Romero than a documentary that would actually cover the making of the film. Oh, Romero lost the rights to the film and now every one and his brother can sell copies? Gee, that must explain why it turns up on EVER horror movie compilation of all time. Oh, he didn't mean to make a statement when he cast a black man in the lead role? Where have I heard that before? Oh that's right, on every single interview he ever gave in his life.


If you're looking for something basic that gives you a brief introduction on the original Night of the Living Dead, head on over to Netflix. If you want an in-depth documentary on the actual making of that film, keep looking.

V/H/S 2 Movie Review

Runtime: 96 minutes
Release Date: June 6, 2013
Rating: R


"VHS 2" opens with a private investigator blackmailing a married man into giving him more money for footage of him and his mistress before he turns it over to the man's wife. He then explains to his partner that a mother called him about her missing college-aged son. The two sneak into the son's house, where they find a series of tapes. Ayesha begins watching the tapes, while Larry searches the house for any sign of the missing man.


Phase 1 Clinical Trials


The first video involves a man getting a new implant in his eye after a car accident left him partially blind. On his way out of the office, he sees a woman looking at him funny, but he doesn't think twice about it. Later that night, he sees someone in his bed, and when he pulls off the sheet, no one is there. He turns to find a dead man standing just behind him. He begins seeing dead people everywhere he goes, and the woman from the doctor shows up to explain what happened.


A Ride in the Park


My favorite segment of "VHS 2" is this one. Out for a morning ride, a man receives a phone call from his girlfriend as he hooks his camera up to his helmet. After talking to her, he runs into a woman screaming for help and covered in blood. When he tries to help her, she bits him, and he discovers a group of zombies in the woods. He tries to get away, only to find himself infected and biting those who try to help him. I'm not sure the director intended to make it quite as funny as we found it, but I still liked it, especially when the zombies invade a child's birthday party.


Safe Haven


My least favorite segment of "VHS 2" is this one. A group of filmmakers meet with the leader of a cult who moved his "family" to a compound on the outskirts of town. Though he initially denies their request to meet with his family, he later changes his mind and agrees to the meeting. It doesn't take long until they realize that something odd is going on. He passes out drinks to his people, and some of the men begin killing themselves. All I will say about this one is that my boyfriend fell asleep during this one but stayed awake for the rest of the movie.


Slumber Party Alien Abduction


Left alone for the night without their parents, a younger boy invites his friends over, and they pull a bunch of pranks on his older sister and her boyfriend, including jumping out with strobe lights while they're having sex to film them. Later that night, they see a weird light on the lake and the power goes out in their house. They see some strange men standing outside their door, and they wind up running outside. After plenty of shaky cam work and what seemed like a really long time, we learn that it's aliens randomly chasing them, and we see it all from the point of view of the dog.


I almost rented "VHS 2" on Demand for $9.99 last month, but I'm glad that I waited to rent it for $1 from Redbox. It had some good points, and I really liked the second segment, but it didn't hold my attention like the first one did.

"Warm Bodies" Movie Review – A Zombie Film for Hipsters

Runtime: 98 minutes

Release Date: February 1, 2013

Rating: PG-13

Director: Jonathon Levine

R is a zombie, but the film skips over what happened that turned people into zombies. Since he can't remember his name, he just calls himself R. Unlike other zombies, the ones in this film form close relationships and connections with each other, and they hunt in packs. R heads off with a group one day after leaving the airport where they live, and they encounter a group of very much alive humans.

After killing a guy named Perry, R absorbs some of his memories, which leads him to grabbing Perry's girlfriend Julie. He keeps remembering moments that the two shared, and he decides that he must save her. He takes her back to the airport, and the more time they spend together, the more he starts to remember about humanity. When Julie leaves him for the comfort of her own people, he and a group of outsider zombies must find her to save the world.

Before "Warm Bodies" came out, I decided to read the book, and it was probably a mistake. The further I read into the book, the more I wanted to roll my eyes. The book is clearly a zombie story written for hipsters, and the movie version plays like a zombie movie for hipsters. This is a movie where the main character wears Beiber-style haircut and a red hoodie for the entire film, and he woos a woman by playing her music that he other people already know, but hipsters decided was cool again.

The entire time I watched the movie, I kept rolling my eyes. Oddly enough, the two guys I watched it with actually liked it a lot better than I did. After reading the reviews, I couldn't understand why so many people loved it. Then I started reading all the little teenagers comparing it to "Twilight," and it suddenly made sense. Adding to it was probably a blurb I read about the author of the book. It mentioned how he wrote several other books before making it big, and made it seem like it was such a struggle for him. Big deal. I've been working as a freelance writer for over five years now, and even though Hollywood hasn't knocked down my door, I still manage to make a good living and feel successful.

I fully admit that I went into the movie with preconceived notions, but "Warm Bodies" didn't leave me feeling warm and fuzzy. While the two leads had some chemistry, their relationship didn't make sense. The book actually did a better job of setting things up between them, while the film had them spend a few days together and fall crazy in love. It also didn't seem like Julie had any real feelings for him, but we were still supposed to root for them as a couple.

I also missed seeing any explanation for the outbreak. R just tells us that he doesn't remember what happened, so we don't know why people became zombies, if they turn other people into zombies, or how some humans managed to survive. The lack of background and the poor excuse for a love story just left me feeling cold.

13 Eerie Film Review – Kind of Like "Mindhunters"

Runtime: 87 minutes

Release Date: April 2, 1013

Rating: R

Director: Lowell Dean

Professor Tompkins (Michael Shanks, "Red Riding Hood") invites his students to Eerie Straits for the weekend. Since his class is apparently super small, only six people actually head out there on the bus. Eerie Straits is actually a former prison island that the school staged with different death scenes in the hopes of teaching students what they need to land a job on CSI.

The group includes Daniel (Brendan Fehr, "Silent Night"), Patrick (Jesse Moss, "Final Destination 3"), Megan (Katherine Isabelle, "Ginger Snaps"), Katie, Rob, and Josh. After breaking the kids into different groups, the bus driver warns the only two girls, who naturally must work together, that they'll probably find a corpse not on their list.

Each group gets a small amount of work done before things go haywire. The corpse one group looks at seems to disappear, and the girls find that one of their corpses actually gets up and starts walking around. Even though they all have walkie-talkies, they take way too long to actually attempt any type of communication. By the time they do, the corpses are rising all over the island, leaving them trapped.

When "13 Eerie" started, I couldn't help comparing it to "Mindhunters." In fact, I was a little surprised when I read a review from someone who couldn't believe no one used this setup before. A group of students investigating forensics? Check. Students left with little supervision in a deserted area? Check. The only thing really missing was Val Kilmer and to a lesser extent, Christian Slater.

Once it finally started though, I was surprised at how much I actually enjoyed it. You probably already know that I have the hots for Brendan Fehr, blame my college years and the television series "Roswell." While he's one of the main characters, I actually found myself rooting for some of the other characters. Poor Megan probably gets the worst of it. She gets stuck in a cabin after finding that one of the zombies attacked a friend, who is now a zombie too. I might hate "Ginger Snaps," but Isabelle does a strong job in this film.

The real surprise is the zombie storyline. You go into "13 Eerie" thinking that it's just another random story about people stuck in a remote place, and then the movie surprises you. It's actually fairly believable, especially once it delves into what happened to the prisoners, though you have to wonder if no one ever visited this place in years. Still, it didn't make me pick up a magazine while watching it, which is more than I can say for some of my more recent choices.

"Rise of the Zombies" Movie Review – Even Alcatraz Isn't Safe

Runtime: 89 minutes

Rating: NR

Release Date: October 27, 2012

Director: Nick Lyon

When a zombie apocalypse happens, you tend to want to be somewhere safe. If you're Rick from "The Walking Dead," it seems like a hospital or a prison is your best bet. If you're one of the people in "Rise of the Zombies," it seems like nowhere is actually safe.

This plucky band of survivors, which include LeVar Burton, Mariel Hemingway, Danny Trejo, and Ethan Suplee, decide to live on Alcatraz. You might think that this is the safest place on earth, but the film actually opens with a scene of the zombies making their way onto the island. They keep listening to radio reports from a doctor played by French Stewart, who keeps experimenting in the hopes of finding a cure for the infection. After a zombie attack that leaves some of the group dead, the survivors leave the island behind to track him down.

We saw a trailer/preview for "Rise of the Zombies" on another movie, and between Burton and Suplee, we knew we had to see it. It didn't help that I recently watched the entire run of "My Name is Earl" for the fourth time. Sadly, neither of those actors nor the talented Hemingway can save this film. I love movies from The Asylum because even though the movies are low-budget, they're entertaining enough for my group. This one was just bad.

After it ended, the conversation between me and my boyfriend went something like this:

BF: That wasn't that bad.

ME: Are you kidding me?

BF: What?

ME: That was bad.

BF: Not as bad as some of the shit you make me watch.

ME: That was bad for The Asylum bad.

BF: Fair enough.

“Pontypool” Movie Review

Runtime: 95 minutes

Release Date: March 6, 2009

Rating: R

Director: Bruce McDonald

Grant Mazzy (Stephen McHattie, “The Tall Man”) is a radio DJ in the small town of Pontypool. While on his way to work, he sees a woman on the side of the road. She says a few cryptic words, and when he talks to her, she just keeps repeating what he said before stepping back into the snow. Mazzy finally reaches the small rural radio station where he works, briefly talking to his manager Sydney and technician Laurel Anne before climbing into the booth.

It quickly becomes clear that Sydney and Mazzy have an adversarial relationship. He was once fired for his on-air persona, and she continually reminds him that he is no longer in the big city. When their reporter Ken calls in with a report, Sydney wants to get more information, but Mazzy decides to broadcast the story live. He tells the listeners that there was a riot outside a doctor's office even though there is no proof of the story.

As the film continues, the crew quickly determines that there is a problem. The wire remains quiet, but the BBC gets through and broadcasts an interview with Mazzy live over the air. Ken keeps calling back, telling them about the people he keeps seeing wandering through town. They keep repeating words and phrases, act like a pact, and have no control. He also mentions seeing helicopters and military vehicles in town. When Laurel becomes infected and the doctor finds his way to the station, Sydney and Mazzy must work together to stop the spread of the disease.

I had no idea what to expect when watching “Pontypool.” A few different people recommended the film, but it sat in my Netflix queue for weeks. This is almost a zombie film without actually being a zombie movie. The infection doesn't spread through bites or contact but through a simple word, which acts as a virus. The main characters actually manage to find a cure, but the ending makes it clear that the government cares less about finding a cure and more about taking care of the problem.

There are a few scenes with actual zombies in the movie. The infected manage to get inside the station and throw themselves at the walls, but the characters actually figure out a way to make the zombies go back outside so they can seek shelter elsewhere.

“Pontypool” is also one of those rare horror films where the less you see, the better it is. For a good portion of the movie, we have no idea what the zombies look like. When Laurel Ann finally starts changing, it's actually fairly intense. Her skin doesn't turn green/black and she doesn't start ripping people's faces off, but her transition is a slow one that goes from repeating a few words to dripping blood down her face and banging her head against the wall.

The film really relies on the two main characters. Mazzy, Laurel, and Sydney carry the film. There's some chemistry between Mazzy and Sydney, which helps explain why he would care so much about curing her, and they keep the backstories to a minimum. We know that Sydney has kids spending the day with her ex, but it doesn't dwell too much on that. “Pontypool” is a strong little flick that primarily focuses on two people trapped inside a radio station as the world crumbles around them.

Movie Review: “The Terror Experiment”

Length: 82 minutes

Rating: UR

Director: George Mendeluk

Release Date: April 1, 2010

Oh how the mighty have fallen. “The Terror Experiment,” also known as “Fight or Flight” proves that horror films sunk quite a bit in recent years, and that some beloved stars really can't catch a break in Hollywood. First though, let's get the plot out of the way.

“The Terror Experiment” is what happens when the government lets private citizens with ulterior motives run loose on secret projects. There's this random guy who decides to release the newest form of toxic gas loose on the world by sneaking into the Federal Building and placing it in the ventilation system. Naturally, the gas turns people into mindless zombies and there are a small band of people in the building that must work together to escape.

I love C. Thomas Howell. I don't care how old or creepy he looks, I still love him. I actually squealed when I saw him turn up in the newest Spider-Man film. Maybe it's because I watched “The Hitcher” approximately 700 times, but I am absolutely crazy about the guy. As soon as I saw his name on the box, I knew this was one that would make its way into my home.

Howell isn't the only famous face popping up in this one. There's also Jason London, Judd Nelson, Robert Carradine, and even Lochlyn Munro of dozens of straight-to-DVD horror films. Sadly, this movie is a piece of garbage. I can usually find some redeeming features, but “The Terror Experiment” is something I saw once and almost immediately forgot about.