Movie Review: Flight 7500 – Thanks XBOX!

Runtime: 97 minutes

Release Date: April 12, 2016

Rating: PG-13

Director: Takashi Shimizu

Every so often, I use my XBOX One as a way to check out upcoming horror flicks. I go through, check out the horror section, watch some trailers, and add some films to the internal list in my brain. Flight 7500 was a flick listed on there that I had a heck of a time finding. It turns out that it was filmed in 2011 and set for release the following year, then pulled from the schedule and held back until earlier this year. Though I did locate a copy at Family Video, I probably could have just skilled it.

Flight 7500 tells the story of a “doomed” flight. Our cast of characters includes Brad an Pia, a couple heading off on vacation with their close friends despite having broken up. They decide to just not tell anyone until after they come back. We also meet a weird guy who keeps a tight handle on a random wooden box, a thief, and a stereotypical goth chick. Suzy and Laura are the two flight attendants, and Laura is the midst of a not so secret affair with Pete, the captain on the flight who is also married.

After flying for a few hours, the plan hits a patch of turbulence that freaks everyone out for a few minutes before it passes. They then find that the man traveling with the box suddenly starts bleeding before dying. The captain makes the decision to quarantine his body in the first class section and move all the other passengers until they can get to their destination. A bunch of random stuff happens, including the air masks dropping and water bottles collapsing, and one woman even sees a fighter jet next to the plane that the captain and others can't see. As people begin disappearing, the others must figure out what happened to the plane and what connection the mysterious wood box has to their flight.

Look, I love films that take place on planes. I'm still a big fan of Snakes on a Plane despite it being so awful, and I have a fondness in my heart for Outbreak on a Plane, which I should totally review in the future. Flight 7500 though was just kind of middle of the road for me. It had a few interesting moments, but much of it just felt like a filler.

One problem is that they spend way too much time setting up all the other characters. Instead of having a scene between the flight attendant and the captain, we have to hear them talk about the two having a relationship and then have a scene or two between them. It serves no purpose in the film except to have her break up with him later. It's a filler story that has no place in the movie. We also have to hear Brad and Pia talk about why they decided to divorce and deal with multiple scenes between the two of them just so they can reconcile at the end.

I figured out what happened pretty early on but kept hoping it was something different. Did the wood box contain a virus that would kill everyone? Was it all just a dream caused by a cabin pressure change? Nah, it's exactly what you think happened judging by a few scenes that occur within the first few minutes. I was hoping for more, but Flight 7500 gave me less than I expected.

Tales from the Crypt Presents: Ritual

Director: Avi Nesher
Runtime: 99 minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: 2006

Alice (Jennifer Grey, “Dirty Dancing”) is a New York City doctor who has a young patient about to die. She wants to use an experimental drug, but the other doctors keep shooting her down so she uses the drug anyway. The little girl dies and Alice finds herself without a job and without a license. She finds an unusual job taking care of a sick man in Jamaica and takes off.

Paul Claybourne (Craig Sheffer, “One Tree Hill”) introduces her to his younger brother Wesley (Daniel Lapain, “Brokedown Palace”) who suffers from a rare disorder, but Wesley claims that he’s actually a zombie. She also meets Matthew (Tim Curry, “IT”), a former doctor turned veterinarian and Caro (Kristen Wilson, “Doctor Doolittle”) who mainly walks around half-dressed and seems to know everyone’s business.

Alice tries her hardest to help Wesley recover from his illness, but it’s hard given that he refuses to admit that he has a problem. He seems convinced that dark voodoo turned him into a zombie and that modern medicine cannot cure his problem. Naturally, she falls in love with him and decides to do whatever possible to help him. At the same time, she finds herself confronted with the dark underbelly of Jamaican voodoo.

“Ritual” is one of those movies that I literally stumbled across by accident. I didn’t even realize that Tales from the Crypt did a third movie, but when I saw the words Jennifer Grey and horror film, I knew I had to watch it. Here’s my secret confession: as much as I love horror movies, “Dirty Dancing” ranks as one of my favorite movies of all time. It just goes to show you that deep down I’m a girly-girl.

The movie comes across as really low budget, even for a TFTC movie. I have no clue if they actually filmed in Jamaica, but I would guess not because the movie spends a lot of time inside buildings or filming outside in close-up shots. On the plus side, there are a few good actors here. Sheffer does a great job of playing a concerned brother who might be a douche bag, while Curry is equal parts creepy and funny. Watching him parade around in a souvenir tee shirt and baggy shorts is worth sitting through the entire movie.

Before writing the review, I did a little research and discovered that this was originally a planned TFTC film, but “Bordello of Blood” did so badly that the producers removed all references to TFTC from the movie. Apparently the movie hit foreign markets in 2001+, but didn’t land in the US until 2006, and the DVD version actually has the Cryptkeeper on it. I couldn’t tell you though because I watched it on Netflix.

This isn’t the type of horror film that you take seriously. The CGI effects offer a good laugh, especially anytime any character notices vines crawling all over them, and it has an ending that you will see coming from miles away. Despite all that, it did have a few good moments. I actually got a kick/laugh out of the actual ending, which offers a little comeuppance for the main villain of the film.