Scream Queens Season 2, Episode 1: Scream Again

Scream Queens, that little show that started last season with a bang and went out with a whimper, is back. Seriously, what were the writers thinking? They made the biggest red herring actually be the killer. I never even considered her because she was so suspicious that I assumed only an idiot would make her the real killer. Well, Ryan Murphy & company are back again with a completely new season that I just watched the first episode of the other night.

You may remember when he originally said that Scream Queens would work like American Horror Story, as in each season would feature some of the same actors but in brand new roles and with a brand new setting. He apparently decided to throw all that out the window because we have some of the same exact actors playing the same exact characters. The only thing missing is the extremely gorgeous Oliver Hudson. Luckily, we have John Stamos to make up for that.

Dean, the ever wonderful Jamie Lee Curtis, became a best selling feminist author and used her cash to buy a new hospital where both Stamos and Lautner now work as doctors. She then tracked down Zeyday, the only one from the old sorority that she actually liked, to also work in the hospital since Zeyday apparently graduated college in just a year and a half before starting med school. Denise got Hester to confess to being the real killer, which led to the Chanels getting released from the mental institution. They got jobs working in the health care field, and when Zeyday complains about the hospital not having enough women on staff, Dean adds the Chanels to her hospital/med school.

We also learn that Jerry O'Connell was a truly terrible doctor. Way back in the day, a hugely pregnant woman came in with her dying hospital. O'Connell lied about his condition, and he and a nurse dumped the poor guy's body in a swamp behind the hospital so they could go out and party. We also have Kristie Alley popping up as a hard ass nurse working in the current hospital. As much as I once loved her, I have to give her the side eye since she came out in support of Donald Trump.

Scream Again was kind of meh in terms of a season opener. If it were the first episode of a brand new show, I'm not even sure I'd pick up and watch a second. While Curtis was great as Dean, it felt just a little too unrealistic, even for a Murphy show. Dean somehow manages to open her own teaching hospital and medical school with no experience, Hester randomly gets caught because she doesn't know what double jeopardy means despite being the one most obsessed with killing, and the Chanels constantly complain about being broke and poor while living in an apartment full of mid-century modern furniture and decor as they walk around in designer clothing.

It also sucks that there was a large lack of killing and any interesting kills. I still remember the moment in the first season where deaf Taylor Swift got run over by the lawnmower and how I couldn't stop laughing and feeling shocked at the same time. This episode gave us a guy getting thrown in the swamp and a woman getting her head chopped off while locked in a hydro bath. I do have to give a nod to the episode playing a song from Dirty Dancing since Chanel #5 will play Baby in the remake of that film.

Scream Again pretty much sums up the way Murphy works. His shows start out good and then fall off pretty fast, but I'll still try to follow along this season and see how it goes.

Scream Queens Season 1 Episode 6 – Seven Minutes in Hell Thoughts and Observations

*While billed as the most kills in an episode up to date, did anyone really care about most of the deaths? Let's be honest, no one gives a damn that the other half of Roger/Dodger died or about the guy who lost his arms. Sadly though, I will miss Predatory Lez.

*Chanel and Chad are back together again, which makes me worry that we'll have to deal with more of their bull shit in the coming episodes. The interplay between them should be interesting and make us laugh, but honestly, I find myself cringing during most of their scenes.

*I kind of love the underground tunnels beneath the sorority house! Gotta love Chanel giving Zayday a history of the previous presidents and their contributions to the campus. Who knew a sorority president was responsible for spreading cocaine use on campus?

*I actually kind of liked Chanel in this episode. When she reveals that she threw a fake hissy fit after she and Zayday tied for president just because she wanted to look like the bigger person when she gave in, I actually laughed. I laughed even harder when she pointed out that this was all because she wanted the Red Devil to go after Zayday.

*Where did all the hats for Chanel #5 come from all of the sudden? It was clear that she was Chanel least favorite sister, but all the hate in this episode seemed to come out of nowhere.

*Neck Brace really needs to stop constantly hitting on Chad. It's actually a little creepy the way she throws herself at him all the time.

*The epic dance party moment during the slumber party made me both cringe and wince. The whole scene felt out of place. Did the director suddenly decide that he wanted to put one more classic song in the episode but wasn't sure how?

*Loved the interplay between Predatory Lez and Chanel #3. Who didn't love their bathroom moment when she finally revealed the story behind her earmuffs? And, who didn't love the scene where Chanel #3 thought PL would reveal that her deepest darkest secret was that she was in love with her but she actually told them about the Charles Manson connection?

*So, Predatory Lez knew who the killer was all along? That's what we got from her death scene when she said exactly that to the Red Devil. I guess she never heard about the whole sisterhood thing, though I do wonder if she ever told Chanel #3 her guess...

*If the Red Devil is obsessed with Zayday, why the hell did he try to kill her in this episode? Even if it's the “other” Red Devil, you would think the other guy wouldn't be too happy about his buddy killing his lady love.

*Ugh, the Gigi conspiracy continues. Is it bad that I really, really want her to be the next one to die?

*Wasn't it convenient that practically everyone who didn't show up in this episode showed up at the very end? I still have a wonky feeling about the dean, but now I may suspect Pete a little bit too...

Thoughts and Observations on Scream Queens Season 1 Episode 5 Pumpkin Patch

*The Red Devil is apparently not so secretly in love with Zayday given that after he kidnaps her, he lets her out of his secret dungeon just to treat her to dinner that he made just for her. That makes me doubt my Dean Jamie Lee theory...

*Denise also got her a little something something in the form of the not at all hot Chad. While the dean thinks he's a bumbling moron, Denise claims that he was among the best lovers she ever had. Gotta say that I lean more towards the dean's opinions on this one.

*Chad calling out the newest Chanel for having nice boobs in front of the original Chanel was one of the highlights of the episode.

*I'm already getting tired of Gigi and Wes. While I love me some Oliver Hudson, her character is really starting to grate on my last nerve. How can someone be so funny in real life but so annoying on television?

*I change my mind. The best moment of the film might be when Hester and Chanel #5 tell Jennifer that Chanel lights candles only once and hides them in her closet. That scream and look on her face made the episode worthwhile.

*So Gigi is secretly working with the Red Devil? Eh, it doesn't really surprise me. For someone who loves the Kappa girls so much, she sure seems to hate them and not be interested in helping them in anyway.

*Chanel demanding that her decorator create a perfect replica of the hedge maze from The Shining only proves that she watched the movie and had no clue it was ever a book. There is no hedge maze in the movie, and what happens in the book is somehow even creepier.

*How can you not love the look on the dean's face when she finds out that Gigi and Wes are now officially a couple? Then again, I think I would much rather see Curtis and Hudson steam up the screen.

*Chanel #5 is really starting to get on my nerves! I wish she would grow up or at least grow a back bone. Note to the poor girl, feeding neighborhood kids cookies laced with toenails will do nothing to stop Chanel.

*Forced to choose between frat bros Roger and Dodger while stuck in the hedge maze with the Red Devil on their tails was the least interesting Chanel #5 moment of the episode. I understand that the writer wanted the scene to come across as funny, but it just made me roll my eyes.

*I still want to know how the hell Zayday even has a shot at becoming president. What sorority lets a pledge run for office?

*My Jamie Less theory is now officially falling apart. As much as I want her to don the red mask and go on a killing spree, it looks like that won't happen. I am starting to wonder if Zayday is part of the conspiracy though...

Thoughts and Observations on Scream Queens Episode 3 Haunted House

*Zeyday still thinks she has a shot in hell of stealing president away from Chanel, and even Chanel thinks she'll win. Since when do freshmen rushes even have a shot at running for president of a sorority house.

*Hester, still thinking she's hot shit from the makeover Chanel gave her, sets her sights on Chad. After a disturbing scene in which Chad finds the perfect grave to masturbate to and starts to drop his pants, she pops up and gives him a chub as she talks about getting turned on by dead bodies before deciding it isn't the right time.

*Well, it looks like we finally know what happened to Ms. Bean! Chad and Hester are unlucky enough to stumble across her body in a haunted house that Zeyday set up as a way to raise money for sickle cell anemia. The best moment came when Hester thought it was a replica, went to touch the leg, and her hand went right through the corpse. We also learn the fate of other characters like Coney and Chanel #2.

*Chanel has so many followers on Instagram that she celebrates Chanel-o-Ween instead of Halloween, which she says is something she'll keep doing when she's a big star. After seeing her send body parts and god knows what else to her followers, we get to see a hilarious moment with her riding around in a kids' battery powered car.

*Aw, Chanel really does have a heart! She comes thisclose to crying when she tells the other Chanels her fears on losing her presidency.

*Oh snap, Denise wanted to join the sorority! Zeyday confronts her with the truth, reveals that they pretty much didn't want a black girl, and announces that Denise has a motive to be the killer.

*The cops don't think that Jamie Lee is behind the killings, but the cop talking with her does think she makes an awesome heavenly hash. She throws herself at Wes again, this time telling him that he can be her date to the faculty party and that they will go as Little Bo Peep and her sheep.

*Grace and Pete dress up as characters from How to Lose a Date in 10 Days, which makes me wonder if Ryan Murphy has any idea what teens watch.

*They track down one of the former sorority sisters, who tells them that the dean made them get rid of the body to protect herself and them before making the girls leave school. Red Devil later attacks her and leaves her body at the haunted house, where police simply identify her as a Jane Doe.

*The baby was a girl! That means it can't be Pete or Chad, unless there's some Sleepaway Camp stuff going on. Grace confronts Wes because she thinks she was the baby. I'm beginning to think that would be the easy solution.

*They learn that someone took care of the baby in the same house where the haunted house is and that people referred to the woman as a hag. The end of the episode reveals that the hag in question was Gigi.

*I can't figure out what movie Wes made his class watch! It's clearly a Children of the Corn movie but not the first one. The sad thing is that I own them all.

*Ugh, Chanel and her minions flip out on some guy for whistling at them and calling them hot, which leads to them attacking him and beating the crap out of him. Given the way they act all the time, it seems like something they would just take as a compliment.

*I stand by my belief that Dean Jamie Lee is the killer. Knowing that she was there when they dumped the body and is the only one who knew what happened to the baby is more proof. I'm 99% sure I'm wrong though.

*I also stand by my belief that Scream Queens tries way too hard. It often feels like jokes are shoved down our throats and that the director/producers want us to act or think in a specific way. Thanks, but I can make up my own mind!

Scream Queens Episode 3 – Chainsaw

*I love Charisma Carpenter and think that she just gets pretty as she ages. She must be taking some of those secret Hollywood supplements that Jamie Lee takes. When I read she would be on an episode, I was pretty excited. I ended up being a little disappointed that her role as Chanel #2's mom was so short.

*Is anyone really surprised that Chad is a man whore? So he dated multiple girls in the same sorority. You know what that means? It means he's a typical frat boy, not a murderer!

*Best scene ever, and one they will have a hard time topping, is poor Coney, the new school mascot. The scene with the Red Devil cutting through his costume made me go from laughing to gasping when he actually go through and blood came pouring out.

*When the frat brothers came walking out in their finest white clothing, I kept waiting for Everybody by the Backstreet Boys to pop up. No one in the history of the world ever looked threatening or menacing while wearing a white newsboy hat.

*It's nice to know that Denise carries around luminol just on the off chance that she might need to identify blood. However, I did like her spin on why she pushed her friend from her car.

*Denise thinks the killer is Zeyday! I highly doubt that, but who knows? The way this show is going, I half expect the killer to be Jamie Lee and that she's somehow actually the baby from the first episode or the mother of the kid who impregnated the sorority girl. I know she can't literally be the baby, but she could be the mother of the father. Let's say she had a son and told no one, and her son then came to her for help because he knocked a girl up. That would explain her interest in the whole story. Then, let's say that he killed himself out of grief at losing his kid and his girlfriend. That would definitely explain why she hates the sorority so much. Plus, if she had one of those weird mother/son relationships, it might explain why she likes sleeping with college guys...

*Chanel #2 keeps posting on Instagram while dead, which everyone somehow buys, even though she's clearly dead or at least passed out in the pictures.

*Chanel #3 revealing that she's the love child of Charles Manson made me groan. Can't she just be some weird chick? She's also getting a little too close with Predatory Lez for someone who repeatedly says she isn't a lesbian.

*Wes shows his class the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. They all groan and roll their eyes, which is proof that kids today have no taste in movies. Like we needed more proof after the whole Twilight crap fest.

*Second best moment? Jamie Lee and Gigi move into the sorority house, she warns her to stay away from her man Wes, and then plays the loudest white noise machine in the world complete with serial killer sounds.

I'm sticking with my theory that Dean Jamie Lee is behind this, or at least until she dies soon...

Scream Queens Episode 2 – Hell Week

Instead of doing a bigger recap like I did for the last episode, which you can easily find online, I think I'll just hit some of the main points this time.

Everyone but Grace, who is still out with Pete, gets buried up to their necks in the lawn of the sorority house. Red Devil comes out of nowhere on a lawn mower and immediately strikes down Deaf Taylor Swift, who as she's deaf, doesn't even know what's coming to the very end.

Niecy Nash as Denise Hemphill steals the show. While she can't carry a gun as a security guard, she can carry a phone and contact the police who will bring guns. When the girls go after the killer, she's the only one smart enough to call them dumb and then run for the door. Sadly, she doesn't find her dead friend in her security guard, but in a hilarious twist, she shoves the woman out of the car while driving off into the sunset.

Jamie Lee Curtis remembers when deans had more power. As she walks through the crowded crime scene, she sees kids taking pictures and posting them online and students trying to make the tragedy all about them. She also smokes pot and sleeps with Chad, which is something I could totally see her doing in real life.

Grace constantly denies there is anything going on between her and Pete, even after they kiss. Instead of getting her some like any red blooded college girl today would, she remains dedicated to the idea of finding the killer, which I highly doubt will happen anytime soon.

Pete tries a little too hard to get something going. When he strips in front of her and then stands in front of the door before lounging in bed half-naked, I had to cringe.

Jamie Lee hits on Wes who demands she get him a job on campus so he can look after his poor mother less daughter. He spends a little too much time hanging out in front of the sorority house too. Gigi eventually steals his heart after chatting with him and discovering they both have a love of 90s hair band power ballads.

Grace finds the bathtub the sorority sister drowned in just chilling in the basement. Chanel finds her and says they keep all their dirty little secrets down there and tells her the story. Grace decides that Pete must somehow be the baby. Despite having no proof, she also assumes he's the killer.

Pete steals information from the dean's office. Red Devil bops him over the head and leaves him tied up outside with a note to mind his own business. Eh, pretty lame for a killer.

Boone, Chad's best friend, wants to climb into bed with him because he's scared. Chad isn't too down with the idea since the last time it happened, Boone touched his penis. Seeing Nick Jonas climb into bed and spoon with another man while holding onto a stuffed frog might be the highlight of the episode. He also wants to join the sorority. The other girls hate the idea, but Chanel thinks it might work. I'm not sure any sorority would agree to having a male sister.

Boone gets attacked by Red Devil in his room. The brothers, who are supposedly massive homophobes, find his dead body and scream like little girls. Red Devil goes to the morgue, opens up the drawer, and stares down at his dead body. Boone suddenly sits up, peels off the fake slash across his throat, and says it took long enough. This is the worst morgue and medical examiner in history.

Best line of the night? Shandelle, why you got a knife in your throat?

Scream Queens Episode One – Pilot

The very first episode of Scream Queens opens at the Kappa Kappa Tau sorority house back in 1995 at Wallace University. In the middle of a major party, the girls find themselves sent upstairs to the bathroom, where they find that a pledge just gave birth to a baby. They can't be bothered dealing with her because their jam, TLC's Waterfalls, suddenly starts playing. They come back to find that she died, leaving them with the problem of what to do with the baby and what to do with the dead body.

Cut to the present day. We meet Chanel, the president of the sorority, and her lackeys, Chanel #2, Chanel #3, and Chanel #5. While there was a Chanel #4, she's no longer around. We also get to meet Grace, the daughter of a legacy, and her extremely hot dad Wes, played by Oliver Hudson. Grace convinces her new roommate Zayday to pledge with her.

Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) calls Chanel into her office and threatens to expel the sorority from campus because of the numerous complaints she received and because she just plain doesn't like them. Gigi, a former sister perpetually stuck in the 1980s, then arrives, announces she is the lawyer for the sorority, and that the dean doesn't have the authority to kick them out.

Grace arrives at the first pledge party and finds the girls are absolutely nothing like her mom. The dean shows up and tells them that if they want to remain on campus, they must agree to accept any girl who pledges. All the other girls take off running when they find out it won't be the prettiest, richest, and most popular girls any more. That leaves them with Grace, Zayday, Neckbrace, Jennifer, Sam, and Deaf Taylor Swift.

Grace also meets Pete, a guy working in the coffee shop. Chanel flips out on him for making her pumpkin spice latte wrong and then reveals that he “stalked” her the previous year and sent her tons of text messages, but that doesn't stop Grace from getting a little crush on him. We also get to meet Mrs. Bean, the housekeeper for the sorority house. Chanel decides that to scare off the new pledges, she'll pretend to drown Mrs. Bean in the fryer that night.

Before the next party, the other girls find a shrine dedicated to pictures of Chanel with her eyes cut out. She confronts Mrs. Bean in front of the other girls and shoves her head in the fryer. Turns out it was actually turned on, and Mrs. Bean's face literally melts off in front of them. While Grace wants to go to the cops, Chanel gets the other girls on her side with promises of hot boyfriends and a spring break trip on her dad's private plane.

Grace turns to Pete for help, but when they go to look for Mrs. Bean's body, which the girls put in a walk-in freezer, she's gone. Chanel also goes to her own boyfriend Chad, the president of the most popular fraternity, but he only cares that she's no longer popular. The Red Devil, the killer of the show, turns up at the end of the episode to kill Chanel #2.

Thoughts:

After the first episode of Scream Queens, I'm on the fence. The humor feels a little forced at times, and I can't help feeling like the writers created the show for people way younger than me. A lot of people got a kick out of Chanel #2 tweeting and sending Facebook messages during her death scene, but even that felt like it was trying too hard.