The Top 5 Best, Worst, and Most Disturbing Moments from American Horror Story: Hotel

American Horror Story: Hotel, aka the fourth season of the show, dropped last night. We got to meet the detective on the hunt for a serial killer, the two foreign girls who checked in and never checked out, and of course, the bad acting of Lady Gaga. Having watched the season premier, I think I can finally list the top five best, worst, and most shocking/disturbing moments from the episode.

There's something in the bed!

Two Swedish girls arrive at the hotel and quickly find out that it looks nothing like they expected. After learning from the less than happy Kathy Bates that there are no refunds, they decide to go ahead and stick it out. Cut to one of the girls seeing something weird with the bed and the other ripping off the sheets to reveal a set of jagged stitches across the middle of the mattress. Since the Swedes have more balls than us, one of the gals attacks the stitches with a knife, which just makes the situation worse as one of the creepiest and most disturbing men of all time literally crawls right out of the mattress.

The longest sex and murder scene ever.

Matt Bomer and Lady Gaga are a couple who are either vampires or serial killers or some type of vampire/serial killer hybrid. They get all gussied up and head out for a night at the outdoor movies, where Matt promptly begins making eyes at another woman and Gaga makes eyes at the woman's boyfriend. Cut to the four of them coming back to the hotel for what could pass for an orgy. After what seems like forever, Gaga finally slices open the man's throat with the sharp metal nail at the end of one finger. The whole scene just left me wishing it would end and that we could just get to the good stuff. I really think it went on a little too long.

Don't do drugs kids.

Later on, we finally get some back story on some of the characters we already met. Hypodermic Sally spends much of the episode roaming around the hotel and doing very little, other than get in the way of Kathy Bates' Iris, the front desk manager. Towards the end of the episode, we find out that she was a junkie who brought Donovan (aka Bomer) back to the hotel, gave him drugs, and pretty much laughed when he died. Iris showed up to save her son from the evil woman and already found him dead. As Hypodermic Sally goes wandering through the hotel, she pauses to look out the window, giving Iris just enough time to shove her out the window. It was a completely unexpected moment made even better by the look on her face as she landed on the ground below.

Metal dildos are way bad.

Gabriel checks into the hotel for a little drug action of his own, only to see something truly gruesome when he shoots himself up. A figure comes out of the shadows wearing little more than a large metal dildo attached to a pair of underwear. That figure proceeds to attack, knock him to the bed, flip him over, and have his way with him, much to the shock and wanting to scream of my boyfriend and myself.

I'm so far not a big fan of Lady Gaga and that was before I learned that she plays one of my favorite horror icons of all time. I know she'll get tons of recognition for the role and that people probably already love her, but she doesn't do it for me...yet. I do, however, look forward to learning more about John Lowe and what happened to his son as well as what will happen with his serial killer, though I hope it doesn't turn into too much going on like with the second season. And I want to give a shout out to Denis O'Hare. Just when I thought I couldn't like him anymore, he turns up here as Liz Taylor with perfect accessories and a bored look on his face. How can you not love him?