Saturday, October 17, 2015

Thoughts and Observations on Scream Queens Episode 3 Haunted House

*Zeyday still thinks she has a shot in hell of stealing president away from Chanel, and even Chanel thinks she'll win. Since when do freshmen rushes even have a shot at running for president of a sorority house.

*Hester, still thinking she's hot shit from the makeover Chanel gave her, sets her sights on Chad. After a disturbing scene in which Chad finds the perfect grave to masturbate to and starts to drop his pants, she pops up and gives him a chub as she talks about getting turned on by dead bodies before deciding it isn't the right time.

*Well, it looks like we finally know what happened to Ms. Bean! Chad and Hester are unlucky enough to stumble across her body in a haunted house that Zeyday set up as a way to raise money for sickle cell anemia. The best moment came when Hester thought it was a replica, went to touch the leg, and her hand went right through the corpse. We also learn the fate of other characters like Coney and Chanel #2.

*Chanel has so many followers on Instagram that she celebrates Chanel-o-Ween instead of Halloween, which she says is something she'll keep doing when she's a big star. After seeing her send body parts and god knows what else to her followers, we get to see a hilarious moment with her riding around in a kids' battery powered car.

*Aw, Chanel really does have a heart! She comes thisclose to crying when she tells the other Chanels her fears on losing her presidency.

*Oh snap, Denise wanted to join the sorority! Zeyday confronts her with the truth, reveals that they pretty much didn't want a black girl, and announces that Denise has a motive to be the killer.

*The cops don't think that Jamie Lee is behind the killings, but the cop talking with her does think she makes an awesome heavenly hash. She throws herself at Wes again, this time telling him that he can be her date to the faculty party and that they will go as Little Bo Peep and her sheep.

*Grace and Pete dress up as characters from How to Lose a Date in 10 Days, which makes me wonder if Ryan Murphy has any idea what teens watch.

*They track down one of the former sorority sisters, who tells them that the dean made them get rid of the body to protect herself and them before making the girls leave school. Red Devil later attacks her and leaves her body at the haunted house, where police simply identify her as a Jane Doe.

*The baby was a girl! That means it can't be Pete or Chad, unless there's some Sleepaway Camp stuff going on. Grace confronts Wes because she thinks she was the baby. I'm beginning to think that would be the easy solution.

*They learn that someone took care of the baby in the same house where the haunted house is and that people referred to the woman as a hag. The end of the episode reveals that the hag in question was Gigi.

*I can't figure out what movie Wes made his class watch! It's clearly a Children of the Corn movie but not the first one. The sad thing is that I own them all.

*Ugh, Chanel and her minions flip out on some guy for whistling at them and calling them hot, which leads to them attacking him and beating the crap out of him. Given the way they act all the time, it seems like something they would just take as a compliment.

*I stand by my belief that Dean Jamie Lee is the killer. Knowing that she was there when they dumped the body and is the only one who knew what happened to the baby is more proof. I'm 99% sure I'm wrong though.

*I also stand by my belief that Scream Queens tries way too hard. It often feels like jokes are shoved down our throats and that the director/producers want us to act or think in a specific way. Thanks, but I can make up my own mind!

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